Dave Barry Gift Guide

November 24, 2013

CHICKEN BRASSIERE

If you are not putting a brassiere on your hen (or self-mutilating parrot) (which would be a good name for a rock band) you could very well be contributing to its DEATH.

$19.99 plus shipping and handling from hensaver.com

Suggested by Terry Spurgin of Bedford, Texas

A question that we have all asked ourselves is: "Does my chicken need a brassiere?" To answer that question, let's refer to the website of the company that sells the Birdy Bra:

"The Birdy Bra not only supports a slow or pendulous crop but can protect a bird's chest, which is a common location of pecking of hens by other hens. Once blood is drawn the pecking can escalate, resulting in infection and even death. Our Birdy Bra can also be used on parrots that self mutilate."

That's right, people: If you are not putting a brassiere on your hen (or self-mutilating parrot) (which would be a good name for a rock band) you could very well be contributing to its DEATH. So if you, or some person on your holiday list, would prefer not to be thought of as a heartless murderer of fowl, this brassiere is the perfect gift item. It comes in a variety of sizes and colors, as well as instructions that probably make a ton of sense if you are in possession of an actual chicken.

Next gift: GLÄCE LUXURY ICE

DAVE BARRY 2013 GIFT GUIDE

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