Dave Barry

Dave Barry

Classic '98: College bound

 My son is a senior in high school, which means that pretty soon he, like millions of other seniors, will have to make a crucial decision, the consequences of which will remain with him for the rest of his life: Who will be his prom date. Also, at some point he'll probably select a college.

Dave Barry

Classic '98: What, me worry?

Where is the American economy headed? Should we be nervous? Will the Stock Market crash? Will we lose our jobs and our life savings and our homes? Will we ultimately have to ward off starvation by eating our household pets?

Dave Barry

Classic '98: One nation, full of lard

Today I have an extremely important topic to discuss with you, but before I decide what it is, I need to "set the record straight" on something: In a recent column, I made a statement that turned out to be inaccurate. Yes. Although the error was corrected by a few alert editors, many newspapers, tragically, did not catch it.

Dave Barry

Classic '98: Sofa Soccer

Perhaps you've been watching World Cup soccer on TV, and you're tempted to get up off the sofa and try the game yourself. Allow me, as a big believer in the benefits of exercise, to offer you these words of encouragement: Get back on the sofa.

Dave Barry

Classic '98: The ultimate threat

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I'd give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows. So I was happy to learn that the federal government has decided to protect me from Microsoft.

Dave Barry

Classic '98: Manatee heaven

As a nature-lover, I enjoy seeing animals in their native wilderness habitat, provided that it is within 20 yards of plumbing and fast food. So recently I journeyed into the heart of the city of Miami (proud motto: ``No Top Elected Officials Indicted So Far This Week'') to see the wild manatees.

Dave Barry

Dave Barry's 2017 Holiday Gift Guide

The challenge, in this hectic season, is always to find enough unnecessary things for all the people on our gift list. That’s where this Holiday Gift Guide comes in. We sincerely believe that you will not find a collection of products this useless

About Dave Barry

Dave Barry

@rayadverb

Dave Barry has been at the Herald since 1983. A Pulitzer Prize winner for commentary, he writes about everything from the international economy to exploding toilets.

Dave Barry's Blog

Dave Barry's 2017 Holiday Gift Guide

The challenge, in this hectic season, is always to find enough unnecessary things for all the people on our gift list. That’s where this Holiday Gift Guide comes in. We sincerely believe that you will not find a collection of products this useless