Dave Barry

Dave Barry

Classic '97: Just her size

I believe that, in general, women are saner than men. For example: If you see people who have paid good money to stand in an outdoor stadium on a freezing December day wearing nothing on the upper halves of their bodies except paint, those people will be male.

Dave Barry

Classic '97: Smell the roses

I have received a number of letters from readers complaining that I focus too much on ''bathroom humor,'' instead of using this forum to educate my readers about important issues that are of deep concern to our nation. OK, fine. I can take criticism, and I admit that maybe I have become somewhat fixated. So today my topic will be: China.

Dave Barry

Classic '97: Follow me

I recently received some very exciting mail. And I'm not talking about a sleazy letter from some magazine-selling outfit claiming I won a sweepstakes. I'm talking about a sleazy letter from the Majority Leader of the U.S. Senate, Trent Lott.

Dave Barry

Classic '97: Undefeated Marlins head to Super Bowl

It was a beautiful day to kick off the 1997 baseball season at Pro Player Brand Of Undershorts Park. It was the kind of day that reminds you of the old traditional baseball song: So let's root, root, root for the home team; If they don't win; That's $89 million down the toilet.

Dave Barry

Classic '97: Dave Barry writes a screenplay — and it's a disaster

Disaster movies are back. I watched one on TV, about asteroids slamming into the Earth and causing a devastating worldwide epidemic of bad acting. Also there are two disaster movies about volcanoes, including one set in Los Angeles, although I doubt that a volcano would faze real L.A. residents, a courageous group of people who think nothing of building luxury homes on steep hillsides made entirely of mud.

Dave Barry

Classic '97: Want to discover the law of gravity? Start with a tree named Bob

Settle back, because today I'm going to tell you the dramatic true story of what happened when some Japanese researchers decided to re-create the historic discovery of the law of gravity: As you recall, this discovery occurred in an English orchard in 1666, when, according to legend, Isaac Newton, the brilliant mathematician, fell out of a tree and landed on an apple.

Dave Barry Gift Guide

Dave Barry's 2016 Holiday Gift Guide

The challenge, in this hectic season, is always to find enough unnecessary things for all the people on our gift list. That’s where this Holiday Gift Guide comes in. We sincerely believe that you will not find a collection of products this useless anywhere else. These are all real products; we did not make them up. You can actually buy them. – Dave Barry

About Dave Barry

Dave Barry

@rayadverb

Dave Barry has been at the Herald since 1983. A Pulitzer Prize winner for commentary, he writes about everything from the international economy to exploding toilets.

Dave Barry's Blog

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Dave Barry's 2016 Holiday Gift Guide

The challenge, in this hectic season, is always to find enough unnecessary things for all the people on our gift list. That’s where this Holiday Gift Guide comes in. We sincerely believe that you will not find a collection of products this useless anywhere else. These are all real products; we did not make them up. You can actually buy them. – Dave Barry
Justin Azpiazu
Dave Barry's 2016 Holiday Gift Guide 5:48

Dave Barry's 2016 Holiday Gift Guide

Dave Barry goes searching for protesters on the campaign trail 1:38

Dave Barry goes searching for protesters on the campaign trail

Don Mattingly talks about the Marlins' 11-1 loss to the Cubs 3:42

Don Mattingly talks about the Marlins' 11-1 loss to the Cubs

Uncertainty whittles away hope for Cuban migrants 2:16

Uncertainty whittles away hope for Cuban migrants