There's nothing quite like putting the whole family into the car and hitting the open road, leaving your worries behind, driving mile after carefree mile, sometimes getting as many as three carefree miles before everybody in the car hates everybody else and gunfire breaks out in the back seat.
It's time for Part Two of my two-part series on the exciting, dramatic and -- above all -- tax-deductible Alaskan Adventure trip I took earlier this spring. As you recall, in Part One, which appeared last week, I recounted the events of my first day in Alaska, during which virtually nothing happened.
As a lover of nature and an outdoorsperson, I still enjoy going to a remote wilderness where I can relax, ''recharge my batteries'' and possibly be eaten. So in late April I hopped on an airplane, then another airplane, then eight or nine more airplanes, until finally I reached Alaska (Official State Motto: ""Speak Up! Our Earwax Is Frozen!'').
Before I get to this week's topic, which is gopher safety, I wish to "set the record straight" regarding three matters:
1. EXPLODING GUAM SNEAKER -- Some months ago I discussed an article in The Pacific Daily News concerning a Guamanian boy whose NIKE brand sneaker reportedly exploded. This report turns out to be untrue.
As soon as I walked into the restaurant, I could smell the cigar. You can smell a cigar 50 feet away. It takes only one to permeate the atmosphere of a restaurant, so that everything you eat tastes a little like a cigar -- cigar salad, cigar steak, cigar cheesecake.
The problem with hunting, as a sport, is that it's not competitive. A guy with a shotgun squats in a swamp; an unarmed duck with an IQ of maybe four flies overhead; the guy blasts the duck into individual duck molecules. Where is the challenge here? Where is the contest?
The holidays are a super-busy time of year, and it’s too easy, with all the hustle and bustle, to forget about what this season is really all about. So we will remind you: It’s about purchasing high-tech consumer devices at retail.