Dave Barry

Dave Barry

@rayadverb

Dave Barry

Classic '95: Dave's guide to summer vacation

There's nothing quite like putting the whole family into the car and hitting the open road, leaving your worries behind, driving mile after carefree mile, sometimes getting as many as three carefree miles before everybody in the car hates everybody else and gunfire breaks out in the back seat.

Dave Barry

Classic '95: Please don't feed the tourists

It's time for Part Two of my two-part series on the exciting, dramatic and -- above all -- tax-deductible Alaskan Adventure trip I took earlier this spring. As you recall, in Part One, which appeared last week, I recounted the events of my first day in Alaska, during which virtually nothing happened.

Dave Barry

Classic '95: Land of the frozen earwax

As a lover of nature and an outdoorsperson, I still enjoy going to a remote wilderness where I can relax, ''recharge my batteries'' and possibly be eaten. So in late April I hopped on an airplane, then another airplane, then eight or nine more airplanes, until finally I reached Alaska (Official State Motto: ""Speak Up! Our Earwax Is Frozen!'').

Dave Barry

Classic '95: Lessons in gopher disposal

Before I get to this week's topic, which is gopher safety, I wish to "set the record straight" regarding three matters:

     1. EXPLODING GUAM SNEAKER -- Some months ago I discussed an article in The Pacific Daily News concerning a Guamanian boy whose NIKE brand sneaker reportedly exploded. This report turns out to be untrue.

Dave Barry

Classic '95: Smoke gets in your eyes

As soon as I walked into the restaurant, I could smell the cigar. You can smell a cigar 50 feet away. It takes only one to permeate the atmosphere of a restaurant, so that everything you eat tastes a little like a cigar -- cigar salad, cigar steak, cigar cheesecake.

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