Miami Herald columnist Dave Barry has been in New Hampshire covering the Republican and Democratic primaries, and avoiding cranky moose. Here is a look back at what Miami’s favorite funny man found interesting in New Hampshire.
I’ve never been totally sold on the concept of Father’s Day. For one thing, it was officially declared a national holiday by Richard Nixon, so it might not even be legal. But my main problem is that I’m not sure we fathers deserve it. I believe — at risk of being arrested by the Gender Neutrality Police — that fathers in general do not have the same level of parenting skills as mothers.
The holidays are a super-busy time of year, and it’s too easy, with all the hustle and bustle, to forget about what this season is really all about. So we will remind you: It’s about purchasing high-tech consumer devices at retail.
It will probably come as no surprise to you that I got the idea of painting my lawn from an agency of the federal government. When I say "painting my lawn, " I don't mean my whole lawn. I just mean this one circular spot that suddenly, mysteriously turned brown, as though it had been visited by a small UFO or a large dog.
I have a letter here from Mrs. Belle Ehrlich, of San Jose, Calif., who feels I should get a new hairdo. To quote her directly: "I enjoy reading most of your columns . . . but your hairdo in your photo sure looks DATED and NOT at all flattering or becoming, to say the least. If you are still sporting that awful hairdo, I suggest you go to a good hair stylist to give you a new and better hairdo. I hope you don't mind my criticism, it's nothing personal -- just a suggestion."