If you live in Miami you are living in the sexiest city in the world. Here’s how we know

Every person on the beach here looks exactly like this.
Every person on the beach here looks exactly like this.

Pitbull was right. Miami is the sexiest city in the world.

But don’t take our word for it. Listen to the website Big 7 Travel. The website has ranked the world’s sexiest cities -and Miami is no. 1.

There is simply no way this conclusion can be wrong, even if somehow Miami has bested Paris (no. 2).

What does Miami have that Paris doesn’t, besides the fact that everybody’s going to have waterfront property here very soon? Here’s what Big 7 Travel says: “Scantily-clad locals line the sandy shores of Miami, without a doubt one of the sexiest cities in the world. Vibrant nightlife, a rich party culture, and some of the most romantic views in the United States all make Miami a pretty sexy place to visit.”

Let’s not tell them that most of those people hanging around South Beach: 1. are not from here and 2. might want to rethink those thongs. Let Big 7 Travel cling to the fantasy.

Denver, Colorado, that noted hotbed of passion, came in at no. 3, followed by Copenhagen, Denmark; Cape Town, South Africa; Zurich, Switzerland; Cap d’Agde, France; Dublin, Ireland; Liverpool, UK; and Los Angeles.

Honestly? We don’t understand any of this.

The website came to this remarkable conclusion by looking at several factors. First, it checked stats for cities where people are having the most sex. We shudder to think how they know this and hope it wasn’t through tireless observation. We suspect Hialeah had something to do with it.

Big 7 Travel also compared data on countries with the most online searches about sex (see what you’ve done, pervs?) and on which cities are best for single people. It also examined which cities had the most romantic restaurants, date night spots and what it calls “passion-inducing activities,” like putting up hurricane shutters, killing cockroaches and being two hours late for your date because there was construction on the 836. It also listened to the opinions of its 2.6 million readers around the world, none of whom apparently has ever been to Paris.

Then again Kendall is almost exactly like Paris. Big 7 Travel may be on to something.

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