Super Bowl With a Smirk V: 8 NFL Honors thoughts, Korean Sannakji, poll and more
Super Bowl With a Smirk, a beloved or at least tolerated annual staple of the Miami Herald years we remember to do it, flies under the banner ‘Make Fun, Not War’ and delights to needle and tweak the NFL and the gravitas of its Big Game. Welcome back and farewell as we drop our fifth and last of five daily editions.
Eight NFL Honors observations on Thursday night’s awards show:
1. Panthers receiver Tetairoa McMillan apologizes for racial slur during esports livestream, wins Offensive Rookie of Year. Ah, timing!
2. Actress/comedian Tiffany Haddish introduces coach of year winner, manages to mangle Patriot Mike Vrabel’s last name.
3. Comic/actor Druski announces Offensive Player of Year Jaxson Smith-Njigba and causes mass cringe by making that last word sound like the slur you’d imagine.
4. Not nearly enough Invisalign ads or promotion for flag football!
5. The person who suggested the bit in which Commissioner Roger Goodell was dressed as a hip DJ named ‘Rog the MC’ ... fear for your job today.
6. Eagles fan Ed Callahan, 79,was named NFL Fan of Year. In accepting he booed Santa Claus. (Just kidding.)
7. Inducted into Hall of Fame: No-brainers Drew Brees and Larry Fitzgerald plus Adam Vinatieri, Luke Kuechly and Roger Craig. Inducted into the Screwed By Dumb Voters Hall: Six-time Super Bowl champion coach Bill Belichick and third all-time leading rusher Frank Gore.
8. League MVP Matthew Stafford of Rams taking stage with his four identically dressed young daughters and Commander Bobby Wagner’s Walter Payton Man of Year speech were such touching moments not even Smirk can poke fun.
Smirk V notes:
▪ This weekend’s Super Bowl parties are more anticipated than even the game itself, according to party planners.
Major events include Sports Illustrated the Party, EA Sports’ Madden Bowl, the GQ Bowl celebrating the fusion of sport and fashion, the 39th annual affair hosted by agent Leigh Steinberg, plus parties might actually want to attend.
The 8th annual Shaq’s Fun House is Friday at San Fran’s historic Cow Palace, with a music lineup featuring T-Pain, Tisto and Disco Lines. Shaquille O’Neal will perform, too, as DJ Diesel, but please go, anyway.
▪ Retired Patriots legend Tom Brady declined to state a rooting interest Sunday, saying he doesn’t have “a dog in the fight.” Former Pats teammates including Vince Wilfork and Rob Gronkowski have said Tom’s full of [bleep].
▪ The 25 Greatest players to never win a Super Bowl, courtesy Complex.com, includes three active guys in No. 12 J.J. Watt, 21-Lamar Jackson and 24-Josh Allen. The top three? Barry Sanders, Dan Marino and Bruce Smith. Damn. I thought Danny might at least win that one.
▪ Actual online headline from ABC News: ‘How to watch the Patriots and Seahawks’ big game.’ Dear football fan: You not being able to figure that out on your own is the latest indication of mankind’s inexorable march to oblivion.
▪ Super Bowl Party Tip du Jour: Chicken wings? Chips ‘n salsa? Bor-ring! Surprise and delight your guests on Sunday by serving South Korean Sannakji (live octopus tentacles writhing on plate), Italian Casa Marzu (Sardinian cheese with live insect larvae); and Icelandic Hakarl (Fermented shark meat with the smell and taste of ammonia). Bon appetit!
Smirk Poll V: You may vote as many times as you’d like.
