When is the light show? Everything you need to know about the Hard Rock guitar hotel

If you have set foot anywhere in South Florida over the past few months, you have seen the giant guitar hotel at Hard Rock Hollywood Hotel & Casino. It rises majestically above the swamps of western Hollywood, reaching for the skies and lighting up the night, making you remember your last trip to Las Vegas.

If you even remember going to Vegas. We’re betting you don’t.

But do you know what you’re permitted or even encouraged to do once you’re at the guitar hotel? Do you know what you aren’t allowed to do? We didn’t think so.

So here are some of the most Frequently Asked Questions about Hard Rock Hollywood and how to have fun there even if you don’t have a room.

How many hotels are there at Hard Rock?

There are three: The Guitar Hotel, the Oasis Tower and the original Hard Rock Hotel.

Can I go up in the guitar if I’m not staying there?

No. Strangely enough, management does not want you wandering aimlessly around the hallways.

What can I do at the property if I’m not staying at the hotels?

You can hit the casino or grab a laidback lunch with a view of the guitar hotel and pool at the outdoor Beach Club Bar & Grill (think burgers and conch fritters). The restaurant Rise is open 24/7 for all your culinary desires, too, in case you require Belgian waffles or French dip at 3 a.m., which is a totally legit need.

There’s also a Vegas-style buffet, a food court , the original Hard Rock restaurant and other places for quick bites around the property, as well as bars at which to indulge in adult beverages. You can check out the shops, one of which, Aubi & Ramsa, serves booze-laced ice cream, and the Rock Spa, where you can get your seaweed wrap on. (Note: the spa is the only place upstairs in the guitar where non-guests can go.)

Where should I park?

There are two free garages and two valet areas, one at the Oasis Tower and the other at the original Hard Rock Hotel. Uber and Lyft are also options.

Does the guitar hotel have a light show every night?

Yes. It lights up and rocks out at 7 and 7:30 p.m. nightly. Note: these times are subject to change so you might want to check first.

Can I stop my car on the turnpike to watch?

No. We urge you to please continue to drive safely despite the fact the most amazing light show you have ever seen is taking place six feet off the highway on a guitar the size of Mount Kilimanjaro.

If I’m inside the guitar, can I see the light show?

“Siri, what is physics?”

Fine. Where’s the best place to watch the light show?

You can walk out by the pool and look up (even if the pool is closed). Follow the path (and everybody else who’s heading out for the show) until you’re on the far side of the massive lagoon and Bora Bora suites.

What are the Bora Bora suites?

Heaven on earth. That is, super fancy cabanas hotel guests can rent by the pool area. We would move in, but Hard Rock Hollywood does not seem amenable to granting us resident status.

So I can at least go outside and look at the pool if I’m not a guest?

Yes.

Can I go in the pool if I’m not a guest?

No. Don’t ask again.

Can I buy a day pass to use the pool?

There are no day passes for pool or lagoon use. Take a hint, scrub.

Can I get a day pass to the Rock Spa?

Yes. You can book any number of treatments there - massages, wraps, facials, manicures, pedicures, blowouts, highlights. There are plunge pools, steam rooms, saunas, a gym with a view of the lagoon, even a large co-ed area where you can lounge around a fire pit like a boss even if you were just playing the nickel slots downstairs.

There are also private couples massage rooms that you can book for a couple of hours and receive treatments, drink champagne and soak in a private hot tub.

What other adult activities can we explore in the private massage rooms?

That is between you and your god.

What else do I need to know about the spa?

There is a Himalayan salt wall in one of the alcoves. We shouldn’t have to tell you this, but please do not lick it.

Where should I go for a cocktail?

We suggest the Oculus Bar in the new hotel lobby, which has a view of the Oculus plus music plus drinks. Win win win.

What’s the Oculus?

It’s the signature feature of the hotel lobby, and it is hypnotic:

Can I eat at the upscale restaurants on the property if I’m not a hotel guest?

Absolutely. Remember: reservations are your friend. This place gets busy, especially on the weekend.

What’s the best place for a glamorous, old-school steak dinner?

The upscale Council Oak Steak & Seafood, located in the new hotel lobby. It has a great bar, too, plus an extensive wine list. Also a couple of Himalayan salt walls and please don’t make us tell you again not to lick them.

What if I’m here with my girls and want more of a party atmosphere? (P.S.: Woooooooooo!!!)

Head to Kuro, a Japanese restaurant with an open kitchen, a sushi bar and a lively lounge scene. Good spot for bachelor parties, too. It’s on the western side of the property near the original Hard Rock Hotel.

What’s the best place for a romantic dinner?

Try Abiaka, which has a wood fire grill and great views of the guitar. Pro tip: reserve a window table at showtime and score huge points with your date. It’s on the second floor above the Beach Club Bar & Grill.

Which upscale restaurant is best for kids?

Cipresso, which is located near the Oculus and serves handmade pasta and pizza, is probably your best bet. It’s the most popular restaurant here (for now - the Korean spot Bae just opened).

What are my other entertainment options?

There are concerts and shows at the newly revamped Hard Rock LIve. You can also hit The Comedy Club. For those with stamina, there’s the Vegas-style DAER dayclub and nightclub.

Wait. Which is it? A day club or a nightclub?

We live in a magical time, because it’s both. An indoor nightclub at night and an outdoor dayclub with pools during the day, featuring national and international acts. Tiesto and The Chainsmokers played opening weekend. Yes, you can and should wear your thong.

Is the guitar hotel more expensive than the other hotels?

The guitar rooms tend to be more expensive, especially if you are balling out in million-dollar suites and gambling in your own private upstairs casino.

Can I do that?!

No. Jay-Z can do that. Michael Jordan can do that. You cannot do that, unless you really hit it big at the poker tables. Good luck.

Hard Rock Hollywood Hotel & Casino

Where: 1 Seminole Way, Hollywood

Reservations and information: www.seminolehardrockhollywood.com

This story was originally published January 21, 2020 at 12:51 PM.