Everybody is talking about the giant guitar hotel now open at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, and we don’t blame them. Any time you build a guitar that is approximately the height of K2, you are likely to draw a lot of attention.
But the truly amazing part of the guitar hotel isn’t even the guitar.
We have found the most amazing spot on the property, and we are leaving our homes, jobs and families to spend the rest of our lives here. Forward our mail, OK?
Let us stress that we are not underselling the giant guitar hotel itself, which is capable of this:
But when it comes to amazing, we have to go with the Bora Bora experience down at the massive pool, which is roughly the same size as the Atlantic Ocean.
We told you the pool was going to be ridiculous. And we were so right. But it’s even better than we imagined, and not just because apparently mermaids are floating around there waiting for you to throw them a fish or something.
The pool is part of the Bora Bora experience, and we are obsessed with the Bora Bora experience, where you rent a “cabana” for day use. These are “cabanas” in the sense that the guitar is a “hotel” - which is to say not at all, because both are SO MUCH MORE than we ever could have hoped for.
The Bora Bora experience comes with a private bathroom, a private plunge pool and butler service. We aren’t sure if the butlers dress up like mermen but we are totally good with that if they do.
We have received no word on how Seminole Hard Rock feels about us moving in permanently but we are confident details will be ironed out soon. In the meantime, here are some other reasons we love the Bora Bora experience so much it hurts:
The soothing sound of mini waterfalls
Until the guitar hotel sound system starts blasting “Paradise City,” anyway.
The inside is nicer than our living rooms
There’s a big TV, plus we can sleep on that sofa.
Seating for all our friends
Better start sucking up to us.
We’ll have a great view of this magnificent structure
It never gets old.
Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino
Where: 1 Seminole Way, Hollywood
Information and reservations: 866-502-7529 or www.seminolehardrockhollywood.com