Coronavirus canceled Miami’s Fair. But you can spin on these terrifying rides anyway

We were sad when the coronavirus pandemic canceled the Miami-Dade County Fair & Exposition.

We admit it, though. We were going for the fair food and by “fair food” we mean fried Oreos, which we view as proof of a higher power.

We were also going to watch other people ride the rides. Yes. Watch. Because we weren’t going anywhere near them. Let’s face it, we are chickens, and no, we don’t want to see footage of you riding the world’s most terrifying rollercoasters because we will never sleep again.

But our goal to avoid fair rides has been foiled, because you can see some of them on YouTube - and we can’t look away.

The fair has created a virtual experience called “Fair from Home,” where you can ride the Freakout, the Space Roller, the Crazy Mouse and more. We recommend turning down your sound, because the riders are constantly screaming. We can’t imagine why.

You can also check out fair exhibits, like the student art projects and The Barn, where you will find super cute photos of baby goats. We all need baby goats at a time like this.

Most importantly there is a fried Oreo recipe (as well as recipes for roasted corn, funnel cakes and Satan’s favorite snack, corn dogs). Forget all those fancy Instagram meals you’re making. Concentrate on making the perfect fried Oreo, and you will be a star.

Just don’t make us ever, ever ride this: