The Barstool Sports guy tried this Miami hot spot’s pizza. Was it too fancy for him?
One bite, everybody knows the rules.
OK, so actually if you don’t follow Barstool Sports you may not know the rules.
Dave Portnoy is the face of the highly controversial website who recently declared himself “uncancellable” after video clips of him making racists comments resurfaced. But when he is not busy making offensive remarks, he pops by a pizza joint, grabs a plain cheese slice, chomps down and then rates the overall flavor, including the crust, which is usually his second bite.
Why does someone whose life revolves around sports and controversy do this? Portnoy is so not a food critic. It’s because his sometimes outrageous, sometimes funny (involving random passersby) “One Bite” reviews get a gazillion clicks, that’s why.
During the months-long coronavirus lockdown, the New York resident wasn’t able to tuck into any pizza joints but still kept going with his online critiques by ordering frozen pizzas or doing takeout.
But “El Pres” is back up and running these days. The 43-year-old was just in Miami, hanging out with local King of Hospitality Dave Grutman at one of his restaurants, Swan.
Known for its refined, glamorous decor and curated American cuisine, the Design District hotspot isn’t really a magnet for pizza lovers.
But Portnoy ordered one up anyway, and scored the pie the way he is wont to do, with his 1 to 10 point system. For the Massachusetts native, a 7.0 is considered pretty amazing, and he gave Swan’s bad boy an 8.4.
Over the weekend, Grutman posted the real-time taste test on Instagram, pleased with his score calling it “crazy.”
“No pressure,” he wrote.
“Pizza review time! I’m being held hostage by Dave Grutman,” Portnoy says before reluctantly chomping down and complaining it’s not just plain cheese.
“It’s sausage, it’s pepper! It’s insane! Get in there!” goaded the restaurateur.
After digesting, Portnoy had to admit defeat.
“All right, so I don’t do meat, I don’t do onions, I don’t do sausage, I don’t do any of it; however, it’s very good, it’s very good.”
Note: You likely won’t see this review on Portnoy’s One Bite app as he says he was on a day off.
This story was originally published November 3, 2020 at 2:43 PM.
