Miami, you are grossing us out by throwing your used latex gloves everywhere

Thanks to the coronavirus pandemic, disposable gloves are now part of our attire. Daily if we have to leave the house to go to work. Weekly if we’re only venturing out to seek sustenance and/or beer.

So why are they all over the place instead of on our hands or in the garbage?

Walk around. You’ll see them everywhere. On the street. On the sidewalk. In the alley. On the floor.

But somehow, never in the garbage.

So we are gonna say it for you slowly, so it’s easy to follow. We might even say it twice. Consider it a public service announcement that will make you less of a terrible person:

Throw your used gloves in the garbage. Tira tus guantes usados en la basura.

See? It’s easy. They’re disposable. Dispose of them. But maybe you need a visual aid to understand what we’re talking about.

Don’t do this:

Or this:

Or this:

Or this:

Or this:

And on and on.

Nobody wants to pick up your used gloves. The Magical Glove Fairy just got laid off. Sanitation workers are already toiling in dangerous conditions. Store employees are busy trying not to get coughed on. And these gloves don’t miraculously biodegrade. You have to throw them in the garbage.

Besides, there’s some question as to just how effective disposable gloves are. Some health care professionals say all they do is lull the wearer into a false sense of security. They rip. They develop holes. You can wear three pairs at once and you still shouldn’t touch your face.

Here’s the one thing we know for sure about disposable gloves: They can’t pick themselves up and hop into the trash. Be better, Miami. Clean up after yourselves. Your abuela isn’t allowed outside to do it for you.

This story was originally published April 3, 2020 at 3:47 PM.