Are Miami bikers as bad as Miami drivers? Here’s how to not be the worst cyclist
Quarantine has deprived Miamians of their beloved Crossfit boxes, yoga studios and juice head gyms. We have taken 1,000 walks through the neighborhood, avoiding neighbors like they are infectious zombies. We have done all the hot Instagram fitness ladies’ workouts. We have scoured YouTube for new HIIT routines.
And we dusted off those rusty bikes in the back of the garage because mama needs her cardio.
The streets have been creepily empty, making riding a bike totally doable, and bike sales seem to be spiking. But getting hurt on a bike is easy, because even though Miami has fewer cars on the street, the drivers who are out there have lost their actual minds.
So what follows is a little refresher on bike safety and just general common sense for you quarantine warriors on wheels.
Don’t wear noise-canceling headphones
In fact, you don’t need headphones at all. What exactly are you blocking out? And don’t you want to hear that car coming up too fast behind you?
Ride in the right direction
If you are on a bike, you should ride with traffic (walkers go facing traffic). Stop making it weird and confusing for everyone.
Watch your kids
This isn’t the ‘80s when children could just roam the streets in packs like those teens from “Stranger Things.” Most of you accompany the kids because 1) Miami’s terrible drivers 2) PERVS! 3) You don’t want to be the only free-range parent in the subdivision. Make sure you are keeping your kids from riding headfirst into an oncoming car if they insist on going through every circular driveway on the block.
Where is your helmet?
Or do you not like having a functioning brain?
Stay off the sidewalk, when possible
Unless you are riding with tiny children or there are no walkers anywhere in sight.
Call out when you are passing
And pass like Beyonce, to the left, to the left.
Watch out for the pros
Look, you just got here. Those weirdos riding in groups own these streets. Get to the side because they will run you over if you come between them and their Strava stats.
This story was originally published May 14, 2020 at 1:40 PM.
