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Ultra Music Festival is done with Miami for good. Here are six places we think it could go instead

Ultra Music Festival is finally breaking up with Miami.

After 20 years, the EDM festival that Miami loves to hate is saying bye to the city for good. According to the Miami Herald, Ultra organizers delivered a letter explaining that they won’t be back.

Turns out Miami hates loud music, hates fun and hates money (Ultra brought in about $2 million). And after this year’s slightly disastrous residency at Virginia Key Beach, Ultra is packing up its glow sticks and looking for more welcoming territory.

Once again, we have some suggestions as to where they can take the party.

The Medley landfill

landfill

Throw your used glow sticks on the ground. Throw up wherever. It’s a landfill. Your garbage won’t matter.

Marlins Park

marlins

Plenty of open space for deep house fans.

Sunset Place

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There’s always a bunch of kids smoking pot here anyway, and some ambient dub will liven things up.

Robert is Here

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Robert Moehling’s Robert is Here is the place for great shakes. EILEEN SOLER FOR THE MIAMI HERALD

They can put the stages out back by the petting zoo.

Coral Castle

beds

The rock furniture is too uncomfortable for anybody to pass out on for long.

Kendall

new kendall

Because 100,000 selfie-taking young people who look like a unicorn threw up on them are still better than chain restaurants and strip malls.

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