That annual celebration of stress, terror and near-financial ruin is almost upon us. Yes, hurricane season begins on June 1, whether we like it or not.
People are already preparing to prepare. After all, June 1 through June 7 was Tax-Free Storm Supply Week. We are sure everybody took advantage of this deal and bought all their supplies in a timely fashion. Ha! Just kidding. We know most of you will wait until the last minute like always and then turn into savages at the grocery store, fighting to the death over water you can get for free out of your taps.
But that’s OK. Because there is a bright side to hurricane season. Yes, you might have to swim for your life, lose everything you own and fend off all kinds of people wanting to shame you. But here are a few of the good things about this wonderful time of year.
Out-of-town relatives finally care about us
We don’t hear from them all year. But when warm ocean water meets wind and blows up a minor rainstorm, they turn into hysterical amateur meteorologists and start calling and texting and begging us to get out of Florida before we die.
We actually interact with our neighbors
The last time you spoke with the guy next door, you were yelling at him to cut back his damn melaleuca before it falls on your car. Suddenly you’re sharing tips and tools, and he’s offering you food from his grill.
No real worries about cutting the grass
Who cares if your yard is a jungle now? The giant brush piles that will accumulate after the storm will kill your grass anyway.
You find out who your real friends are
Working together – it’s the Miami way. But only at this time of year.
Exciting revelations about whether the roof leaks are the best reality TV
Will you have to raid your kid’s college fund to put up a new roof? Will it hold or will your neighborhood turn into a Blue Tarp City? Stay tuned!
A hurricane warning clears the roads
You can make it from Miami Beach to Kendall in 10 minutes
Potential Jim Cantore sightings
Talk about star power. You’ll have a chance to get The Weather Channel guy’s autograph.
Threats test our ingenuity
A post shared by Connie Ogle (@ogleconnie) on Sep 7, 2017 at 3:12pm PDT
Necessity is the mother of invention.
So many excuses to stress eat
It’s a well-known fact that hurricane supplies have no calories.