Finally, after four long years and many local visits by David Beckham, which we heartily endorse, Miami is on the verge of getting a soccer franchise. An announcement is scheduled for Monday or Tuesday about the plan, including a deal for a 25,000-seat stadium in Overtown.
There are many crucial details to work out, but one rises to the top in importance: What should the new team’s name be? We have a few ideas on how to help David Beckham name this team to make it extremely Miami, and we want you to vote on the best name.
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Here are the categories.Vote in each category, and we’ll name the finalists next week.
The Miami Humidity: It’s not the Heat, it’s the Humidity.
The Miami Heat Index: Forget skills. We’ll wear you down with a thermometer.
The Miami Flood Zones: Proudly defending the low ground since 2018.
The Miami King Tide: Rising to swamp you and increase your insurance rates.
The Miami Evacuation Zones: We’ll make you run for cover.
The Miami Pitbulls: Just try prying our jaws from your throat.
The Miami Manatees: We’re endangered? No, YOU’RE endangered.
The Miami Roosters: Because it sounds better than “Miami Cocks.”
The Miami Flamingos: We absolutely can bend it like Beckham.
The Miami Palmetto Bugs: You can beat us, but we will outlast all of you.
The Miami Pythons: Putting the squeeze on the competition.
The Miami Peacocks: We need to work on that battle cry.
The Miami Lionfish: We’re pretty, but we’re poison.
The Miami Iguanas: If you beat us, we’ll still poop in your pool.
The Miami African Snails: Small but destructive.
Food and drink
The Miami Coladas: Forget Gatorade. We run on sugar and caffeine.
The Miami Caja Chinas: We’ll roast our opponents like lechon on Noche Buena.
The Miami Croquetas: Nobody can resist us.
The Miami Mojitos: We’ll muddle the competition.
The Miami Publix Subs: We are the best. The rest of the country just needs to get on board.
The Miami Tax Incentives: Celebrating what keeps sports in Miami.
The Miami Kickbacks: Our game is so good it should be illegal.
The Miami High Rises: We tower over all.
The Miami Fulanos: We know you aren’t going to remember our name.
The Miami Butt Lifts: Wait till you see how we look in our shorts.