Finally, after four long years and many local visits by David Beckham, which we heartily endorse, Miami is on the verge of getting a soccer franchise. An announcement is scheduled for Monday or Tuesday about the plan, including a deal for a 25,000-seat stadium in Overtown.
There are many crucial details to work out, but one rises to the top in importance: What should the new team’s name be? We have a few ideas on how to help David Beckham name this team to make it extremely Miami, and we want you to vote on the best name.
Here are the categories.Vote in each category, and we’ll name the finalists next week.
The Miami Humidity: It’s not the Heat, it’s the Humidity.
The Miami Heat Index: Forget skills. We’ll wear you down with a thermometer.
The Miami Flood Zones: Proudly defending the low ground since 2018.
The Miami King Tide: Rising to swamp you and increase your insurance rates.
The Miami Evacuation Zones: We’ll make you run for cover.
The Miami Pitbulls: Just try prying our jaws from your throat.
The Miami Manatees: We’re endangered? No, YOU’RE endangered.
The Miami Roosters: Because it sounds better than “Miami Cocks.”
The Miami Flamingos: We absolutely can bend it like Beckham.
The Miami Palmetto Bugs: You can beat us, but we will outlast all of you.
The Miami Pythons: Putting the squeeze on the competition.
The Miami Peacocks: We need to work on that battle cry.
The Miami Lionfish: We’re pretty, but we’re poison.
The Miami Iguanas: If you beat us, we’ll still poop in your pool.
The Miami African Snails: Small but destructive.
Food and drink
The Miami Coladas: Forget Gatorade. We run on sugar and caffeine.
The Miami Caja Chinas: We’ll roast our opponents like lechon on Noche Buena.
The Miami Croquetas: Nobody can resist us.
The Miami Mojitos: We’ll muddle the competition.
The Miami Publix Subs: We are the best. The rest of the country just needs to get on board.
The Miami Tax Incentives: Celebrating what keeps sports in Miami.
The Miami Kickbacks: Our game is so good it should be illegal.
The Miami High Rises: We tower over all.
The Miami Fulanos: We know you aren’t going to remember our name.
The Miami Butt Lifts: Wait till you see how we look in our shorts.