A study last year reported that Florida drivers are basically the worst. Then another one said Florida has the second most distracted drivers in the country. You don’t have to be a genius to draw the line straight down to Miami, where we have a buffet of terrible drivers to pick from.
Here are a few – but not all – of the reasons Miami drivers are transitioning from bad to bonkers.
We have reached peak road rage
Miami drivers are so mad at life that the Miami Herald did an entire investigation into what is behind all of this rage. Videos of unhinged drivers taking their grievances to the streets circulate the internet. Like Hector and Jairo, who stopped traffic in Hialeah so they could try and beat each other with a bat over “Why didn’t you let me in?”
You cannot make us use turn signals
The Miami Herald reported that failure to use turn signals results in 2 million collisions annually in the U.S., according to research by the Society of Automotive Engineers. Based on our analysis, all 2 million of those collisions take place in Miami, where no one knows what that little stick popping out of the steering wheel is really about. The reasons we don’t use turn signals are a mystery, but here are a few theories:
- Macho men don’t use turn signals.
- People are too distracted to drive like they have sense.
- Getting a driver’s license in the United States is too damn easy.
- Police don’t stop jerks for not signalling.
The silver lining? Eventually self-driving cars will take over the streets and our crappy driving habits will no longer matter.
We continue to turn on our hazard lights when it's raining
It’s raining South Florida, you know what that means right? Headlight ON flashers OFF! pic.twitter.com/rSGkpvI9Ha
— Miami Beach Police (@MiamiBeachPD) May 18, 2016
Local police are tired of telling you. So let’s get an explanation from an eloquent redditor named CraftyFellow_
It is illegal to drive with your hazard lights on in the State of Florida. No matter how hard it is raining.
It also dangerous. Your turn signals become useless (not like you people were using them anyway) and it makes it hard to tell the difference between someone that is actually pulled over and using their lights appropriately.
Stop it. And give your friends and family shit for it if you see them doing it.
Thank you CraftyFellow_. You are the hero we need.
We use our high beams at the wrong times
Yeah, we know it’s dark and creepy in Pinecrest and Palmetto Bay and all these other suburban towns with no street lights. Jason Voorhees could jump out from behind a tree at any moment and make you crash that Hummer into some bushes. But now you are driving right toward me, and I can’t see a damn thing. So basically he’s going to get both of us.
We drive slow in the fast lane and pass on the right
The rules of the road don’t apply when you are in Miami. And who cares about that emergency vehicle with its siren on right behind you?