Dear Abby: My best friend is getting married. She asked me to be a bridesmaid.
I’m honored, but I don’t know what to do. I dislike her fiancé. He is disrespectful and mean to her and to their son.
I can’t stand up with them and pretend to be happy for her when I think she’s making a terrible mistake. I want her to marry someone who will be nice to her. Help!
If standing up with her will make you feel like a hypocrite, then don’t do it. But recognize that if you don’t, it will distance you from her.
If your friend’s relationship is dysfunctional now, just wait until after she and her fiancé are married.
This young woman is going to need all the support she can get from her friends in the years ahead.
Dear Abby: Every year, my children choose to attend Thanksgiving with their in-laws or friends rather than come to our home. Then they ask me to prepare a celebration the day after or another day.
My husband and I feel left out. Preparing a meal is costly and time-consuming. We’d like to celebrate on the actual holiday.
I think we should be treated with more respect. I also feel like telling these ingrates to stay home this year because we have decided to donate our time to a homeless shelter.
I can see why your feelings are hurt. I think your children should alternate with which in-laws they spend the holidays.
If you would prefer to volunteer at a shelter, you should do it. Many people do so on the holidays and beyond, and find it very gratifying.
However, when you inform your children about your plans, try to keep the anger out of the tone of your message.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.