‘Exhausted' Mom Reveals Why She Won't Let Her Husband Do Chores-Here's Why

A North Dakota mom has revealed why she won't let her husband do chores-arguing her husband's demanding job leaves him too drained to help.

Mary Ringler, 27, said her approach stems from the reality of her family's daily life, with her husband, 35-year-old Justin, working long hours to support them.

During particularly busy periods, she said he can work between 12 and 16 hours a day, leaving little time or energy for anything beyond work and family time.

Instead, Mary said she manages the home and childcare, describing it as a role that, while exhausting, allows her husband to focus on his job and be present with their children when he is home.

"I think it is important that we, as a society, see the different ways that relationships can work," Mary told Newsweek. "None of us have the exact same arrangements."

A typical day for Mary begins early. She gets up with her 5-month-old at around 6:30 a.m. and her 3-year-old wakes up soon after.

From there, her schedule is filled with cleaning, childcare, errands and cooking, often multitasking and involving her children in daily chores.

"On average, I spend about two to three hours a day cleaning and another one to two hours cooking," Mary said. "What works for me is cleaning throughout the day as we go."

Despite describing herself as "exhausted" and "tired," she said the arrangement allows her husband to focus on work and maximize the limited time he has with their children.

"The time he has to spend with the kids I guard fiercely," she said. "We have little to no village where we live and zero help with childcare."

Mary emphasized that their division of labor is not rigid, but flexible depending on circumstances.

"There are definitely seasons where he does more around the house-when I am pregnant or postpartum-and we are able to adapt as we need," she said.

The mom of two explained that there are many misconceptions surrounding her arrangement.

The first, Mary said, was the idea that she is suggesting all relationships should operate in the same way.

"This is definitely not the case," she said. "I know that many mothers work fulltime alongside their spouses so division of labor at home absolutely should look different."

The second misconception centered on her husband's role as a parent. "My husband is up at night just as much as I am with the kids," Mary said. "He is with them every moment he gets and is just as invested and involved in their lives as I am."

For Mary, the takeaway is not about one model being right or wrong, but about mutual understanding.

"You can have strong and healthy relationships in any scenario so long as both partners are communicating and truly want what's best for the other," she said.

2026 NEWSWEEK DIGITAL LLC.

This story was originally published May 28, 2026 at 7:13 AM.