Here are ways to help your children after they witness traumatic events

Recently we have witnessed severe devastation caused by hurricanes, fires and human beings. Unfortunately, none are isolated incidents.

In times of tragedy, we want to encourage community support and community building. When events occur that deplete morale, it can certainly feel impossible to see the good through the bad. However, it is important to maintain the attitude of gratitude.

If you look closely, you can find the helpers. There are always those who aid amidst the chaos, often putting their own safety at risk to help others. They are the ones who ensure that we will overcome. Whether you and your loved ones were affected directly, know someone who was affected, or even were exposed to graphic news reports, these tragedies may be weighing heavily.

Specifically, it is common for adults and children alike to experience significant reactions to emotional events. Of course, direct involvement or first-hand witnessing of a tragedy causes distress. Moreover, knowing someone who was affected directly or being exposed to media depicting catastrophic scenes can create feelings of worry and grief. You may even experience a ripple effect of reactions that impact your own well-being. If you or your children have been feeling particularly stressed in the past couple of months, you are not alone.

After a tragedy, it is normal to experience a change in emotions such as feeling on edge, being unable to relax, heightened worries, fear of the event repeating and survivor’s guilt. Children may experience nightmares, seem withdrawn (less happy, talkative, or playful), reenact traumatic events through play, and express worries about the event happening again, getting hurt, and being separated from or losing close family members.

Parents may notice that children become clingier or refuse to go to school after being exposed to or learning of tragedies.

It is important to keep an eye on these emotions and behaviors, both in yourself and in children. For many, this is simply how humans process and cope with trauma. Time heals many physical and emotional wounds. However, if you find that you, your child, or someone else close to you is experiencing symptoms of traumatic stress for several months, professional help may be of benefit.

Though traumatic events tend to happen suddenly, recovery is often a much longer process. As a community, we can regain a sense of normalcy as we cope and heal together. Some ways that you can help promote recovery in your family and social network include:

▪ Not minimizing your own or others’ feelings. Emotional validation is a key factor to connecting with others and with your children as part of the recovery process.

▪ Allowing time to recover. Don’t be too hard on yourself or others if it feels like you are still reeling from the effects of a tragedy.

▪ Asking for support or offering it to others in need. It can be comforting to hear that others are sharing your reactions.

▪ Maintaining healthy behaviors and routines by eating well-balanced meals at regular times, attempting to get enough sleep, and avoiding alcohol and other substances as coping strategies.

▪ Modeling healthy coping for children. They are looking to you to gauge their own reactions. Children need to know that an adult is in control and they are safe.

▪ Answering children’s questions in an honest, age-appropriate way but limiting their exposure to ongoing reports, images, and videos of devastating events (including limited exposure to TV and computer access to coverage of these events).

▪ Being mindful of triggers that remind you and your children of the trauma. We can become extra sensitive to the lasting effects of an emotional event when we are reminded of it or around an anniversary. Sometimes this happens even when we are not aware that our brains are connecting certain situations or specific dates with the event. If you find that you are experiencing heightened emotions or worries, or that your child is particularly cranky, take a step back and see if you can connect this with a trigger that may be serving as a reminder of the event.

▪ Being consistently nurturing and predictable for your children. Children need stability and regular routines to recover and continue thriving.

If your family needs help coping with traumatic stress, contact the Mailman Center for Child Development-Behavioral Pediatric Clinic at 305-243-6857.

This story was originally published October 16, 2017 at 5:49 PM with the headline "Here are ways to help your children after they witness traumatic events."