Kelly: Jaelan Phillips opens up about his struggles with confidence and self-doubt | Opinion
Imagine playing the best game of your NFL career, possessing the glow that has Jaelan Phillips playing like a terror on the football field, and then all of a sudden during a routine play your Achilles tendon pops.
Season over in 2023!
A grueling rehabilitation is ahead just to get back on the football field, and Phillips makes it happen nine months after the injury.
It’s not a medical miracle, but just short of one, especially since he delivers a fourth-quarter sack that puts Miami’s offense in position to deliver a fourth-quarter come-from-behind victory in the season opener.
Yet the Miami Dolphins’ fourth-year pass rusher, a 2021 first-round pick, is beating himself up because he failed to make an impact in Miami’s embarrassing 31-10 loss to the Buffalo Bills a week later.
“I have a lot of high expectations for myself, and I didn’t live up to my standard so kind of instantly, all of the negative voices in my head start berating me,” Phillips confessed when asked about a revealing post he made on social media five days after the Bills loss.
And this is his norm.
Last year Phillips, a former University of Miami standout who at one point was the best high school football prospects in the nation, started openly admitting that he battles with his confidence, consistently tussling with the negative voices in his head.
He has worked with therapists and sports psychologists to help keep those voices quiet, to silence the self-doubt and the emotions that come with them from overwhelming him.
He has shared his journey with the world via social media, and his talks to youngsters he encounters through his volunteer work.
On Tuesday the 25-year old delivered his eye-opening post about his struggles with self-doubt, and how it’s a daily battle, and there was a floodgate of responses from people who share his struggle.
“I have to work really hard to not attach my self-worth and confidence to how I perform on the field,” Phillips wrote in the elaborate expression of his feelings.
Phillips wants everyone who faces similar challenges to know they aren’t alone, and that an athlete at the highest of his career faces them, too.
“Some people are naturally, supremely confident, but I feel like a lot of people kind of struggle with their confidence. I just wanted to convey the message that even if you do struggle with your confidence, you can still move past it, you can still be successful,” said Phillips, who didn’t record a single stat line in the 32 defense snaps he played against the Bills.
Phillips, who has started 28 of the 44 games he had played in the NFL, had been telling himself that his return to the field was going to be seamless, and he would be back to his old form immediately. Unfortunately, that hasn’t been the case.
“It’s important to sit with those feelings,” said Phillips, who has contributed 148 tackles, 23 sacks, one forced fumble and one interception in his first four seasons. “I don’t think it’s beneficial to try to ignore those feelings.”
Phillips said he also verbally states the opposite of those negative thoughts that begin to flood his mind.
“‘I’m not good enough. People don’t love me,’ whatever the case may be. Tell yourself, ‘I am good enough. I am blah blah blah.’” Phillips said. “It’s OK to have down days or if it’s two days or three days, but it’s not OK to stay down and start spiraling, and to not take that step forward.
“It’s really about how you handle those times like that and how you move forward from it,” Phillips continued. “I feel like a lot of people might assume because we’re big, brawny athletes that either we don’t go through the same emotions or whatever, but I think it’s impactful for a lot of people to be able to see that [we do] from us. A lot of people obviously idolize us, and for us to be candid about our emotions, I think that’s super important. Especially for men in general.”
