Super Bowl With a Smirk II: End of racism, Trump at game, KC/Riley deal, Drake halftime plot & more
Super Bowl With a Smirk, a beloved annual staple of the Miami Herald years we remember to do it, is back! (Although ‘beloved’ may be stretching it.) Smirk flies under the banner Make Fun, Not War and delights to needle and tweak the NFL and the gravitas of its Big Game. Welcome back for our second of five daily editions:
Whomever first said, “Timing is everything” may have had a premonition about this from Super Bowl Week:
Monday, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell in his annual state-of-the-league talk defended the league’s diversity, equity and inclusion policies moving forward as DEI efforts are under siege nationally.
Tuesday, at the outset of Black History Month, it was reported the phrase “End Racism” would be removed from end zone display during Sunday’s Super Bowl, and replaced by the phrases “Choose Love” and “It Takes All of Us.”
Smirk, rejecting cynicism, is here instead to celebrate, finally, and by NFL decree ... the apparent end of racism!
▪ The NFL staged Opening Night at the Superdome, with Eagles and Chiefs players and coaches there along with hundreds of visiting media eating for free at the event but billing it on fraudulently on company expense reports. Beating odds, not a single interesting quote was heard. Even more remarkably, fans paid $20 a pop to sit in the stands and listen to the banality from afar in earphones.
▪ Confirming an exclusive Monday Smirk report about Heat president Pat Riley owning trademark rights to the phrase “three-peat,” it was reported Tuesday a deal is place with the NFL to allow the Chiefs to use the phrase should they win a third straight SB this week. Riley trademarked Three Peat and five derivative phrases during the 1988-89 NBA season when he coached the Lakers. With a windfall pending, he’ll be Pat Smiley should Kansas City win.
▪ Assurances of maximum security on Sunday expanded with the news Donald Trump plans to be the first sitting U.S. president to attend a Super Bowl. Trump on Tuesday signed a preemptive executive order that any fans booing him as well as Taylor Swift be deported from the stadium. I don’t wanna say Trump’s presence might be felt in the game, but the Eagles starting quarterback is now Elon Musk.
▪ Smirk sneaks in a quick non-Super Bowl item: Salad too dry? Need to gently let the waiter know? Say, “Excuse me, but this salad is less dressed than Bianca Censori.”
▪ The rapper Drake was arrested for orchestrating a plot to disrupt the halftime show of bitter rival Kendrick Lamar. But then Smirk woke up from his dream.
▪ Just heard but still trying to confirm: Miami has acquired receiver Cooper Kupp from the Rams in exchange for Jimmy Butler.
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▪ Pro-Eagles crowd Sunday? TickPick says about 23% of all Super Bowl tickets are being purchased in Pennsylvania, vs. only 6% in Missouri.
▪ USA Today reports Miami’s Hard Rock Stadium is the NFL’s fourth-worst home venue, based on Yelp reviews. The Dolphins’ home trailed only the three stadiums whose teams did even worse at successfully tainting the process with orchestrated fake reviews.
▪ Super Bowl ads will go for a record $8 million per 30-second spot. Some already have begun to be revealed ahead of time, like one for Coors Light starring a well-dressed sloth. Highly anticipated but not yet confirmed: A Budweiser ad in which the ghost of Betty White and the E*Trade baby joust Medieval-style on rampaging Clydesdales wearing straw hats.
▪ Fox Sports says 2,783 New Orleans-fave Po’ boys sandwiches will be served to its crew on Sunday. Damn! Smirk bet the ‘under’ of 2,500. Speaking of prop bets, it’s a 5 1/2 over/under on times Taylor Swift will be shown up in her suite. I’ve got the “under” on the hunch a Trump executive order will force the Biden-supporting Swift to watch from Section 940.
▪ Sunday’s game will be broadcast in a record 226 countries in more than 40 different languages. Two crones in Budapest are lording over a cauldron of goulash right now discussing the game. “Mahomes viccesen fut, akár egy kisgyerek,” notes one. (“Mahomes runs funny, like a toddler.”)
▪ Super Bowl Party Tip du Jour: Don’t be a slave to the latest in technology. Leave the 96-inch big screen dark. Delight your party guests and inspire their imagination as they gather ‘round to consume the big game on a tinny, old-timey transistor radio.
This story was originally published February 4, 2025 at 4:16 PM.
