Grading Super Bowl ads, halftime -- and 5 lessons Rams-Bengals offer teams like Dolphins | Opinion
There are lessons other NFL teams -- like the Miami Dolphins, for instance -- may glean from the Super Bowl won by the Los Angeles Rams over the Cincinnati Bengals on Sunday night. (And, yes, it hasn’t sunk in yet, and might never, but the Bengals really were in the Super Bowl).
To the football game and its lessons momentarily, but, first, the important stuff:
▪ The commercials: I don’t know what the crowd at your Super Bowl party thought (my invite must have gotten lost in my spam folder), but our favorite ads were the Pringles can getting stuck for life on the guy’s hand; the spicy Doritos spot starring the sloth; Seth Rogan and Paul Rudd pimping Lay’s; and Larry David hating on all good ideas throughout history.
Worst commercial, by a lot, was a tie: The floating QR code that counted on lemming millennials running to the TV with their phones and scanning it (which they obediently did). And the ad for miserably named Liquid Death water that pictured a bunch of preteens seeming to be getting drunk. Those companies paid $6.5 million for a 30-second spot, proving P.T. Barnum right when he said there’s a sucker born every half minute.
▪ Halftime show: Expectations were sky-high and mostly lived up. Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg and Eminen led a tour de force ode to old-school, west-coast hip hip, with Mary J. Blige and current star Kendrick Lamar as well along with a bizarre cameo by an upside down 50 Cent.
“The Next Episode” was an epic, spot-on opener, “California Love” was a must for an L.A. Super Bowl, and Slim Shady kneeling Colin Kaepernick-style after “Lose Yourself” was the perfect jab at the NFL. And that stage/set design was the most ambitious in Super Bowl history.
For me Prince in a rainstorm in Miami in 2007 remains the opus of SB halftime shows, but Sunday night swaggered into the conversation forever more.
▪ Our party menu: To the gathering of a dozen or so that we hosted, I contributed Memphis-style rubbed baby back ribs, a second rack with Asian sticky sauce, and raw cabbage veggie salad with a lemon-mayo dressing.
The classic Memphis ribs and the salad (a first-time creation) went over great. The Asian ribs were a big disappointment to me -- but still better than that commercial with the floating QR code.
▪ The game, and its lessons: With takeaways tailored to the Dolphins:
1. The below the over/under 23-20 final and Aaron Donald almost single handedly winning it for the Rams verifies that defense still matters in the air-show NFL. This should hearten Miami and new coach Mike McDaniel, because D is the Fins’ most reliable component.
2. Cincinnati was 2-14 two seasons ago. Won four games last year. And last night the meek nearly inherited the Earth. The anything-is-possible quality of the NFL should hearten downtrodden fans everywhere ... although fans of Miami and Detroit seem to have to work harder for the hope.
3. The Rams won a championship by trading for Matthew Stafford, making it two straight teams (after Tampa/Tom Brady) that won by dealing for a star QB. This pattern could re-engage Dolphins interest in a controversial and costly deal for Deshaun Watson, or perhaps a quick-fix enticing of Aaron Rodgers.
Then again, the Bengals got really good fast by drafting Joe Burrow, just like the Chiefs did with Patrick Mahomes. The point is, it is very hard to disguise not having a good-enough QB no matter how one is obtained. If Miami is sticking with Tua Tagovailoa (so they say), he’s got this coming season to be appreciably better, or they move on.
4. Cincy got this far despite their weak offensive line, which gave up seven sacks Sunday. New Fins coach McDaniel can try to disguise Miami’s own weak blocking front with play design, but fundamental improvement must be a priority, whether in free agency, the draft or preferably both.
5. Instant betting odds on next year’s Super Bowl hint at the steep climb Miami faces. The Chiefs, Bills and Bengals are 1-2-4 (the Rams are third) in odds to win it all -- top heavy for the AFC. Also ahead of Miami in the conference: the Broncos (the early line must assume Rodgers may be coming), Ravens, Chargers, Titans, Colts, Patriots and Browns.
Miami is tied for 11th of 16 AFC teams. essentially because QBs in the conference include Mahomes, Josh Allen, Burrow, Lamar Jackson and Justin Herbert. (And now maybe Rodgers, too?). That’s not even mentioning the potential of Trevor Lawrence and Mac Jones and the idea Watson may land elsewhere in the AFC.
Miami to L.A. is about as far a trip as there is in the continental U.S., and Miami to the Super Bowl is an ongoing journey that sometimes seems just about as far.
This story was originally published February 14, 2022 at 11:45 AM.
