Super Bowl With a Smirk: L.A.’s glitz, Cincinnati’s dullness, a Shula, Al Golden and a dead gorilla
Super Bowl With a Smirk returns again this year beginning with a daily needling of the self-important NFL and the gravitas of its big game. Flying under the banner, “Make Fun, Not War,” Smirk is an annual Super Bowl Week feature in the Miami Herald years we remember to do it.
The Super Bowl is back in Los Angeles for the first time since 1993, and glitzy L.A., city of stars, has rolled out the red carpet.
Unfortunately the carpet is the shade of embarrassment as the NFL and commissioner Roger Goodell fend off controversy in much the same way the Beijing Winter Olympics are going on almost as if China doesn’t have an abysmal record on human rights.
So the NFL celebrates its grandest stage this week for Bengals vs. Rams amid the explosive Brian Flores lawsuit alleging racism in the hiring of minority coaches and general managers. Goodell first called the suit “without merit” but soon after, in a private memo to teams, did a deft 180 and called the league’s minority hiring record “unacceptable.”
Goodell in this week’s annual “state of the league” news conference surely will also be probed on Flores’ allegation that Dolphins owner Stephen Ross bribed him to intentionally lose games and tank the 2019 season.
The commissioner has yet to decide which suit he will wear to the event:
Asbestos or Hazmat.
▪ Teams similar, cities the opposite: No unlikable team in this matchup. No villain. Cincinnati is the Cinderella (Cincirella? Cindernati?) and underdog in its first SB since 1988 and seeking its first title. But Los Angeles hasn’t won it all since 1999 while in St. Louis, and not been champ as the L.A. Rams since 1951.
The contrast is in the competing cities. L.A. is L.A. Cincinnati is duller than dirt. (No insult meant to dirt). Excitement there is a special at Skyline Chili.
Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow himself said as much, crediting the team’s good health to Cincy being boring.
“Fortunately, there’s not a ton to do in Cincinnati,” he said recently. “Nobody is going out to clubs and bars and getting COVID.”
Actually, coach Zac Taylor, 38, went to a local bar, the Mount Lookout Tavern, on January 15 to celebrate the team’s first playoff win in 31 years and symbolically deliver a game ball to Bengals fans. The head coach was not immediately recognized and got carded.
▪ Mike McDaniel looks like...: Delightfully, the Dolphins’ new head coach fits nobody’s stereotype of an NFL coach. He looks like a guy who studied history at Yale. Which he did. Looks like a guy who wouldd prefer to hold staff meetings at a Starbucks, lattes all around.
▪ This one’s for Harambe?: Bengals defensive end Sam Hubbard says team wants to win Super Bowl to honor Harambe, the gorilla shot to death by a zoo worker in Cincinnati in 2016 after the animal approached a 3-year-old boy who had fallen into the enclosure. An apparently rejected idea: Win the Super Bowl to honor Bengals fans who have been waiting 55 years for a championship.
▪ Two ways to pretend Miami is sort of almost practically in this Super Bowl: Rams linebackers coach Chris Shula is the son of Dave and grandson of Dolphins legend Don. And Bengals LBs coach is Al Golden, who head coached the Hurricanes in 2011-15. Al Golden!
▪ Super Bowl Experience: The NFL’s annual interactive theme park opened at the L.A. Convention Center. One controversial attraction deemed too realistic already has closed, as it was found too dangerous for fans to experience a concussion from repeated jarring tackles.
▪ Opening night ... virtually: Super Bowl opening night was held virtually Monday and shown on NFL Network and ESPN2, with the coach and nine players from each team availed in the first media sessions of the week. Smirk virtually watched, but then forgot to.
▪ Pro Bowl review: You watch the Pro Bowl in Las Vegas on Sunday? Yeah, me neither. The AFC won 41-35. They really do need to start letting defensive players in the game, too.
▪ This Super Bowl’s ties to old-time Hollywood: The Los Angeles Host Committee chairman, Casey Wasserman, is the grandson of Hollywood legend Lew Wasserman, the former longtime super agent whose clients included Bette Davis, Ronald Reagan (the actor) and James Stewart.
▪ Super Bowl Party Tip du Jour: Planning to have friends over? Remember the general rule of thumb is to order 145 wings per person, according to the National Chicken Council.
This story was originally published February 7, 2022 at 12:59 PM.
