Super Bowl With a Smirk: NFL’s deft & dull Roger Goodell slipped up and made news | Opinion
Commissioner Roger Goodell staged a successful annual “state of the NFL” Super Bowl Press Conference Wednesday at Miami’s downtown Hilton, by which I mean he spoke for 40 minutes and said as little of substance as humanly possible.
One exception: Asked about the Rooney Rule meant to encourage the hiring of African-American coaches, Goodell said, “It’s clear we need to change” — as a ballroom (nearly) full of journalists were jarred from their dozing by the expected, stunning arrival of something close to actual news.
Goodell did not say what that change would be, but expectations are it will not include somehow making club ownership a bit less of a private country club for Old White Guys.
The commissioner deftly parried most other substantive questions including several about ongoing negotiations for a new collective bargaining agreement, and whether a 17-game regular season was a sticking point. (It is).
Health-conscious players are strongly against adding a game. Revenue-conscious owners are ravenously for it.
Owners pay Goodell’s $40 million salary, helping explain why he might avoid admitting the league favors something at blatant odds with its public push for increased safety.
On another matter, Goodell said no decision has been made in the New England videotaping scandal. Apparently negotiations with Pats owner Robert Kraft continue.
▪ Already looking forward to Thursday’s Super Bowl Halftime Talent Press Conference, presumably featuring performers Jennifer Lopez and Shakira. J-Lo’s recent acclaimed turn as a stripper in the film “Hustlers” has given rise to titillating speculation that Sunday’s halftime will include an accidental-but-planned “wardrobe malfunction,” according to a rumor started by Smirk just now.
▪ Cowboys QB Dak Prescott and Campbell’s Chunky were distributing soup to the homeless at Miami Rescue Mission on Wednesday. These things happen when you go 8-8 and miss the playoffs.
▪ It is reported Miami-Dade taxpayers paid a $370,000 tab for Tuesday night’s Super Bowl Media Party at PortMiami. I can tell you your money was well-spent, citizens! Although, frankly, Smirk wished the jumbo shrimp were a smidge larger.
▪ List-mad ESPN ranks the Super Bowl players 1 through 53, inlcuding all starters and key reserves. The usual suspects are on top. Patrick Mahomes, George Kittle, Richard Sherman, Travis Kelce. We were more interested to scroll to No. 53. It is Chiefs backup TE Blake Bell. His Super Bowl ring will be made of cardboard.
▪ The NFL and members of law enforcement held a Public Safety Press Conference at the downtown Hilton Wednesday, including an advisory for fans with ticket to the game. Things prohibited from being brought into the stadium include weapons, lasers, drones, signs, banners and Colin Kaepernick.
▪ Meantime a crackdown by NFL security officials in Miami is specifically looking to prevent instances of counterfeit tickets, unlicensed merchandise and media interviews with brain-injury experts.
▪ Ticket giveaway! Two free tickets to Sunday’s game to the first person who can name Smirk’s best friend in middle school.
▪ The NFL Shop is sponsored by Visa, because what better way to fall under the thumb of onerous, unrelenting debt than by using a credit card to buy grossly overpriced apparel? (What’s in your wallet? Nuthin’, if you keep this up much longer!)
▪ New Jersey columnist Jerry Izenberg is not attending this Super Bowl, leaving the Detroit News’ Jerry Green as the last man standing -- the only journalist left who has worked all 54 SBs. Clearly, the boss doesn’t like Jerry.
▪ Sights and sounds from Sad Sad Radio Row at Media HQ in the Miami Beach Convention Center: Hosts from warring, rival Kansas City stations brawling over first dibs to Chiefs backup long snapper Al Snappington.
▪ The National Chicken Council estimates 1.4 billion chicken wings will be consumed on Super Bowl Sunday, suprising analysts who had no earthly idea there was a National Chicken Council..
▪ Super Bowl Party Tip Dujour: Don’t tell your invitees beforehand that your theme this year is “Throwback Sunday.” Then, what a surprise! You have removed all TVs from your home and as kickoff nears gather all of your guests around the crackling sound of a single 1935 Zenith 4-V-31 Farm Radio.
