Sept. 10: vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 1 p.m. (Fox).
It’s the Miko Bowl! Expect Brent Grimes’ wife to make plenty of noise in the stands, but her husband’s old team gets the last laugh on the field.
Dolphins 24, Buccaneers 23.
Sept. 17: at Los Angeles Chargers, 4:05 p.m. (CBS).
They say football is a war of attrition. They’d be right in this instance. Perhaps the only team more crushed by injuries than Miami is L.A.
Dolphins 34, Chargers 21.
Sept. 24: at New York Jets, 1 p.m. (CBS).
We’re looking hard for a way in which the Dolphins lose this game. Squints. Nope, not gonna happen. Jets could go 0-16.
Dolphins 27, Jets 6.
Oct. 1: vs. New Orleans Saints in London, 9:30 a.m. (Fox).
The Dolphins’ last trip to London cost Joe Philbin his job. Adam Gase isn’t going anywhere, but neither are Miami’s overseas woes.
Saints 40, Dolphins 20.
Oct. 8: vs. Tennessee Titans, 1 p.m. (CBS).
The Titans might be the NFL’s most improved team and a chic pick to win the AFC South. That and jet lag are too much for Dolphins.
Titans 23, Dolphins 13.
Oct. 15: at Atlanta Falcons, 1 p.m. (CBS).
Atlanta seems primed for a Super Bowl hangover. Fresh off the worst meltdown in NFL history, the Falcons will take a step back in 2017.
Dolphins 30, Falcons 24.
Oct. 22: at New York Jets, 1 p.m. (Fox).
See Week 3. Lather, Rinse, repeat. The Jets are historically awful.
Dolphins 31, Jets 3.
Oct. 26: at Baltimore Ravens, 8:25 p.m. (CBS, NFL Network).
Not. Again. The Ravens are on the schedule seemingly every year. And the result is almost always the same (Baltimore owns a 7-2 edge since 2005).
Ravens 24, Dolphins 13.
Nov. 5: vs. Oakland Raiders, 8:30 p.m. (NBC).
Finally, a Sunday night game! The Dolphins haven’t been in one since 2010. They give the nation a good show — even if it’s not enough.
Raiders 34, Dolphins 31.
Nov. 13: at Carolina Panthers, 8:30 p.m. (ESPN).
Injuries, fatigue and a brutal schedule catch up to Miami. The bye can’t arrive soon enough, and Cam Newton takes advantage.
Panthers 27, Dolphins 16.
Nov. 26: at New England Patriots, 1 p.m. (CBS).
At least the Dolphins can ease into the stretch run, right? Ugh. Dolphins haven’t won in Foxborough since the Wildcat game. Won’t here.
Patriots 35, Dolphins 20.
Dec. 3: vs. Denver Broncos, 1 p.m. (CBS).
Oh, the stories will write themselves when Vance Joseph faces Adam Gase, his old friend and boss, in his return to Miami. The ending will be happy — for the Dolphins.
Dolphins 21, Broncos 18.
Dec. 11: vs. New England Patriots, 8:30 p.m. (ESPN).
Two games against the Patriots in a year is unfair. But two in 16 days? That should be illegal. Different city, same result.
Patriots 24, Dolphins 13.
Dec. 17: at Buffalo Bills, 1 p.m. (CBS).
After that insane stretch, thank goodness for the Bills. They haven’t gone full-Jets, but they’re pretty close. And Miami keeps its season alive.
Dolphins 31, Bills 20.
Dec. 24: at Kansas City Chiefs, 1 p.m. (CBS).
I’ll have a blue Christmas without you — or postseason hopes. The dream of back-to-back playoff appearances dies before St. Nick gets to town.
Chiefs 14, Dolphins 13.
Dec. 31: vs. Buffalo Bills, 1 p.m. (CBS).
Play for pride. Play for your next contract. Just play, Miami, and let Gase avoid his first losing season with the Dolphins.
Dolphins 27, Bills 10.