Sept. 10: vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 1 p.m. (Fox).
It’s the Miko Bowl! Expect Brent Grimes’ wife to make plenty of noise in the stands, but her husband’s old team gets the last laugh on the field.
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Dolphins 24, Buccaneers 23.
Sept. 17: at Los Angeles Chargers, 4:05 p.m. (CBS).
They say football is a war of attrition. They’d be right in this instance. Perhaps the only team more crushed by injuries than Miami is L.A.
Dolphins 34, Chargers 21.
Sept. 24: at New York Jets, 1 p.m. (CBS).
We’re looking hard for a way in which the Dolphins lose this game. Squints. Nope, not gonna happen. Jets could go 0-16.
Dolphins 27, Jets 6.
Oct. 1: vs. New Orleans Saints in London, 9:30 a.m. (Fox).
The Dolphins’ last trip to London cost Joe Philbin his job. Adam Gase isn’t going anywhere, but neither are Miami’s overseas woes.
Saints 40, Dolphins 20.
Oct. 8: vs. Tennessee Titans, 1 p.m. (CBS).
The Titans might be the NFL’s most improved team and a chic pick to win the AFC South. That and jet lag are too much for Dolphins.
Titans 23, Dolphins 13.
Oct. 15: at Atlanta Falcons, 1 p.m. (CBS).
Atlanta seems primed for a Super Bowl hangover. Fresh off the worst meltdown in NFL history, the Falcons will take a step back in 2017.
Dolphins 30, Falcons 24.
Oct. 22: at New York Jets, 1 p.m. (Fox).
See Week 3. Lather, Rinse, repeat. The Jets are historically awful.
Dolphins 31, Jets 3.
Oct. 26: at Baltimore Ravens, 8:25 p.m. (CBS, NFL Network).
Not. Again. The Ravens are on the schedule seemingly every year. And the result is almost always the same (Baltimore owns a 7-2 edge since 2005).
Ravens 24, Dolphins 13.
Nov. 5: vs. Oakland Raiders, 8:30 p.m. (NBC).
Finally, a Sunday night game! The Dolphins haven’t been in one since 2010. They give the nation a good show — even if it’s not enough.
Raiders 34, Dolphins 31.
Nov. 13: at Carolina Panthers, 8:30 p.m. (ESPN).
Injuries, fatigue and a brutal schedule catch up to Miami. The bye can’t arrive soon enough, and Cam Newton takes advantage.
Panthers 27, Dolphins 16.
Nov. 26: at New England Patriots, 1 p.m. (CBS).
At least the Dolphins can ease into the stretch run, right? Ugh. Dolphins haven’t won in Foxborough since the Wildcat game. Won’t here.
Patriots 35, Dolphins 20.
Dec. 3: vs. Denver Broncos, 1 p.m. (CBS).
Oh, the stories will write themselves when Vance Joseph faces Adam Gase, his old friend and boss, in his return to Miami. The ending will be happy — for the Dolphins.
Dolphins 21, Broncos 18.
Dec. 11: vs. New England Patriots, 8:30 p.m. (ESPN).
Two games against the Patriots in a year is unfair. But two in 16 days? That should be illegal. Different city, same result.
Patriots 24, Dolphins 13.
Dec. 17: at Buffalo Bills, 1 p.m. (CBS).
After that insane stretch, thank goodness for the Bills. They haven’t gone full-Jets, but they’re pretty close. And Miami keeps its season alive.
Dolphins 31, Bills 20.
Dec. 24: at Kansas City Chiefs, 1 p.m. (CBS).
I’ll have a blue Christmas without you — or postseason hopes. The dream of back-to-back playoff appearances dies before St. Nick gets to town.
Chiefs 14, Dolphins 13.
Dec. 31: vs. Buffalo Bills, 1 p.m. (CBS).
Play for pride. Play for your next contract. Just play, Miami, and let Gase avoid his first losing season with the Dolphins.
Dolphins 27, Bills 10.