Football

A fan is throwing a parade for the Browns’ 0-16 season — and Squatty Potty is chipping in

Cleveland Browns quarterback DeShone Kizer (7) plays against the Pittsburgh Steelers in an NFL football game on Sunday, Dec. 31, 2017, in Pittsburgh. The Browns became just the second team in NFL history to go winless in the regular season.
Cleveland Browns quarterback DeShone Kizer (7) plays against the Pittsburgh Steelers in an NFL football game on Sunday, Dec. 31, 2017, in Pittsburgh. The Browns became just the second team in NFL history to go winless in the regular season. AP

For those Miami Dolphins fans reeling at thinking about the team’s 6-10 season, remember it could be worse.

The Cleveland Browns became just the second team in NFL history to go winless in the regular season. And for one Browns fan, that meant a cause for celebration of sorts.

Chris McNeil organized the “Cleveland Browns Perfect Season Parade 2.0,” which according to the parade’s GoFundMe page, is meant to commemorate the Browns’ “magical season full of fun & utter embarrassment.”

And McNeil has received donations far and wide for the cause — 225 donations through GoFundMe as of Friday morning for more than $13,000. McNeil wrote on the parade’s official website that any leftover money will be donated to the Greater Cleveland Food Bank.

One fitting contributor: Squatty Potty, a Utah-based company known for developing toilet stools and sprays.

“Squatty Potty has experience in addressing the unpleasant, the undesirable, and assisting people to make the best of a crappy situation, Squatty Potty marketing director Jason Burrows said in a press release. “We have tackled the taboo, brought it to light, mixed it with humor, and turned difficult conversations into positive outcomes,” Burrows said. “We could not help but get involved here, as it appears the Browns were a bit constipated and couldn’t squeeze out a single win. We felt like we could help the cause.”

A $250 donation appears on the GoFundMe site under Burrows’ name, and the press release says the company also gave a direct donation to the Greater Cleveland Food Bank.

The parade is set to start at noon Saturday — the first day of the NFL playoffs — at Cleveland’s FirstEnergy Stadium, where most of the Browns’ misery this season occurred. The parade route takes the shape of a giant zero.

According to a story on Cleveland.com, McNeil said the idea for the parade began with a joke on Twitter in 2016 after the Cleveland Cavaliers won their first NBA Championship in 2016. Three months later, the NFL season began.

“The Cavs had just won the title (in 2016), and then you have the Browns,” McNeil said in the story. “The Browns did what the Browns do, you know. Do this every single freaking year. And I’m witness to it every single freaking time. So it’s a tweet, ‘Why don’t we have a parade for the Browns?’”

The parade almost came to fruition that season until the Browns won their second-to-last game of the season against the Chargers. They finished the season 1-15.

So when 2017 came around and the Browns dropped their first seven games, McNeil decided to bring the parade idea back to life and started the GoFundMe page. Eleven weeks later, the protest parade is officially happening.

And if the winless season wasn’t enough misery, the forecast for the Cleveland area at the time of the parade is a high of 7 degrees with 17 mph winds.

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