‘We played by your rules, America, but it was never good enough. You left us no option’ | Opinion

I have spent my 52 years in a nation that once considered me just three-fifths of a man. Though that three-fifths compromise passed out of law more than 150 years ago, the damage was done — even today, we are “less than” in too many of our own eyes and, more dangerously, “less than” in the eyes of far too many police officers sworn to protect us. No matter what I achieve, including becoming a Command Master Sergeant in the U.S. Army or starting a successful business, in the eyes of Derek Chauvin and those like him, I’ll still be two-fifths shy of a man and a brother.

That’s why, decades ago, my mother had “the talk” with me. Though I was too young to understand Jim Crow or what “separate but equal” meant, I understood fear. Even today, the image of fear on my mama’s face is burned into my brain. “If an officer stops you, be polite,” she said. “All ‘sirs and ma’ams.’ Keep your hands in sight. Don’t resist.” I do not judge her for having the talk with me — indeed, I have had it with my own children — but there is humiliation still in the presumption that I am a criminal. My service to this country is not enough, apparently, to prove I love this country.

America, it’s time we had “the talk.” It likewise may leave you feeling humiliated. Yet a little humility might do America good right now. And, like my mama’s talk, this talk will save us both so much strife and pain.

America, you’re making African Americans’ worst option our only option. When we knelt in protest, your leader called us “sons of bitches.” When we tried to build businesses and needed help from the Paycheck Protection Program, we could not get the same help as others, underscoring that playing by the rules will only get us so far. When we tried to integrate with white folks so we could get to know and like each other, your leader wouldn’t even let us rent an apartment. When we march, you threaten us with dogs.

My military career was based on instilling discipline, so it pains me to say that you’ve made rioting the only way we can get your attention, that we need real change. Yet you have made our options painfully limited.

Support our peaceful protests with calls for real change — as Joe Biden is — and there will never be a need for outbursts like we’ve seen since George Floyd’s murder.

America, African Americans are exhausted. We are tired of working the most dangerous jobs or not working at all. We are tired of making the same argument over and over and over again. We are tired of suffering from sky-high rates of anxiety. We are tired of being tired.

Biden did the country a service by explicitly linking today’s outrage with systemic racism, rather than dismissing it as a reaction to “a few bad apples.” America must recognize the same link he does.

America, your thin blue line needs reform. We know what works — accountability and early-warning systems for bad officers; mandatory de-escalation training; and explicit prohibition of potentially fatal tactics like the one Chauvin used to end Floyd’s life. This is not a matter of knowing what works. America, this is a matter of having the political will, of caring about your African-American brothers and sisters.

Finally, America, we need better leadership. That is not to say change will be top-down. It won’t be. Yet a leader sets a tone for a nation. Our leaders cannot fan the flames of racial hatred and expect things to get better. Real leadership begins with words like Biden’s, admitting the underlying, racist causes of today’s precarious situation.

This is not to say African Americans are blameless. We’re not, just as a man selling loose cigarettes is not technically blameless. But America, real change starts not with us, but with you. You’re the ones with your knee on our throat. For African Americans to stand up and contribute — or even breathe deeply — you must release our handcuffs and stop trying to hold us down.

When my mother gave me the talk, the most important thing she said was, “Never run away. Down that road lies trouble.” America, the same applies here. We must not run from our troubles — we must face them head on. The outrage across the nation is what happens when we run.

Victor Angry is the former command sergeant major in the U.S. Army and founder of A is for Angry!, LLC.