Florida’s official dessert must remain Key lime pie. Don’t make us fight you | Editorial
It’s an epic battle for the ages, as Florida as python versus alligator.
State lawmakers are considering changing the state dessert from Key lime pie to strawberry shortcake, and we are here to say in a resounding voice: Nope. Nope. Nopety, nope nope nope.
Key lime pie is synonymous with Florida. It has that end-of-the-world allure — you can’t grow Key lime trees just anywhere, by which we mean states that aren’t sticking out into the ocean like a big thumb. Key lime pie was made popular by fishermen, maybe, and it was first invented by a Key West cook named Aunt Sally. Or maybe not. If you’re eating Key lime pie, your brain will be flooded with endorphins and you will not care. That’s the beauty of Key lime pie.
You can’t even say its name — and we are, over and over — without invoking a cherished, if sweaty, locale in the Sunshine State: the Florida Keys! What’s strawberry shortcake got? A generic name like a house-brand snack from Publix? (Although we must admit to a fondness for Woven Wheats as a cheaper alternative to Triscuit crackers.)
Key lime pie is everything. It’s sweet. It’s tart. It has a graham cracker crust (when done right.) It’s a vacation on a plate.
The legislator responsible for this offense is Rep. Lawrence McClure, a Republican from Plant City. We understand that he has to rep his people. Plant City is the heart of Florida’s strawberry industry. We’re sure their shortcake is the best they can do.
But we take umbrage, sir. And we don’t care for another legislator’s suggestion that Key lime pie become just the state’s pie — not official dessert — allowing strawberry shortcake to slide in as the state cake. No matter what millennials say, everyone can’t be a winner.
Yes, yes, we can hear you protesting that there are far more important issues for the Florida Legislature to take up. You are right. But when’s the last time the Legislature focused on important issues, like, say, governing? Besides, this abomination of a proposal has already passed the House Public Integrity & Elections Committee, which is baffling in many ways. (Integrity? And elections? Regarding . . . pie?) It must be stopped.
You’ve been warned. Key lime pie is our state dessert. Don’t make us fight you.
This story was originally published January 13, 2022 at 2:19 PM.