A naked Florida man in a Publix parking lot kicked trash cans and jumped on and punched cars while screaming "I only had one beer!" cops say.
Indian River County sheriff's deputies arrested Jonathan Boettcher, 46, and charged him with disorderly public intoxication.
According to the arrest report, a deputy arrived at a Publix on U.S. 1 in Vero Beach Thursday night to find Boettcher swinging his arms and yelling while wearing no shirt and no underwear, but with basketball shorts around his ankles.
The deputy said Boettcher was sweating uncontrollably as he yelled "I only had one beer!" and "I only wanted to smoke some pot."
One witness told the deputy she had seen Boettcher screaming and fussing before kicking over the cigarette disposal on a trash can. After that Bruce Lee moment, she said, he entered Publix and shouted, "You're not the one!"
A second witness said Boettcher had been near the post office north of Publix, stopping traffic and punching cars before stripping off his clothes.
For his part, Boettcher told the deputy he'd had one beer and smoked part of a marijuana joint in the homeless camp behind Publix. As for dropping his pants, he claimed to be responding to a friend mooning him or indulging in behavior that was "the only way we would get him out of there."
They did. A judge sentenced him Friday to 45 days in county jail.