Toxic Trump & ‘Lucifer’ Cruz play the woman card, but ‘deal me in’ Clinton holds royal flush

Donald Trump, the presidential candidate with no government experience whatsoever, crowned himself “the presumptive nominee” this week. The GOP race is over, he declared. Enchanted with the echo of his bravado — mirror, mirror on the wall, it’s me, it’s me! — he raised his toxicity level another notch.

Narcissus (without the looks) turned his five-state primary sweep into a platform to rage against his second-favorite target: women — Mexicans being his número uno obsession.

“Frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don’t think she’d get 5 percent of the vote,” Trump said, newly unhinged with victory. “The only thing she’s got going is the women’s card. And the beautiful thing is, women don’t like her.”

He charged on the Today show: “Without the woman’s card, Hillary would not even be a viable person who could even run for a city council position.”

That’s how the presumptuous GOP favorite with zero government experience plans to battle the candidate with the most government experience — senator, secretary of state and First Lady, often criticized in the 1990s for how influential and involved she was during her husband’s presidency.

He, whose claim to fame is growing his daddy’s measly $1 million investment, against Her?

I’d say he’s acting so stupid he may be working for Clinton, but she’s too smart to hire someone with so little experience, empty thoughts under the hair, and a crass mouth.

She’s worthy of a better GOP opponent. Too bad the Republican Party couldn’t provide one.

But at least we’re enjoying one riveting episode after another of the nation’s most-watched reality show, The Race for the Republican Nomination, with three out of 10 candidates still standing (although you could say Gov. John Kasich at this point is just eating).

Just when you think it couldn’t get any better for Clinton and the Democrats —– a gender war! — into the fray comes a blast from the past. The weepy former Speaker of the House, John Boehner, sticks his head out of retirement to hint that maybe it’s time for the Republican establishment to throw in the towel. Anyone but loathed Cruz.

Boehner made his point in terms tea party Republicans can appreciate.

He called the evangelist’s son “Lucifer in the flesh.”

Not to be outdone by Trump nor derailed by Boehner, Cruz pulled out his own woman card.

Stressing that he’d thought this move through with “consideration and care” — and lots of prayer, of course — Cruz announced a vice presidential choice for his losing ticket: Carly Fiorina, another Republican with zero government experience. A pointless appointment, since the math doesn’t add up for Cruz to become the GOP nominee. But hey, it gives every pundit and headline writer the unique opportunity to shout: “It’s a Hail Carly!”

What a contrast to Clinton, who’s sticking to issues, no matter who says what.

On women’s issues, she’s the real thing. She has always been working on the ground with action, developing her political career and steadily rising on her own merits. She has walked the talk on the most important and basic issues — health, family, education, career.

In this poker game, she’s holding a royal flush.

Donald is best at acquiring real estate and model wives. Cruz excels at reading Green Eggs & Ham to his children from the Senate floor, totally clueless that he’s a right-winger reading socialist literature. Kasich, the only one with the credentials to run, is the proverbial nice guy who finishes last.

What the Republican boys have accomplished with their anger against women is position Clinton for an easier win.

In a victory speech in Philadelphia, smiling like never before, Clinton played her winning hand: “If fighting for women’s healthcare and paid family leave and equal pay is playing the ‘woman card,’ then deal me in.”

On Nov. 8, bet they’ll find out just how much the saner Americans like Madam President.　

This story was originally published April 28, 2016 at 7:11 PM with the headline "Toxic Trump & ‘Lucifer’ Cruz play the woman card, but ‘deal me in’ Clinton holds royal flush."