A young man longs to find his mother an affordable place to live and his ‘purpose’
Jason Melus cannot remember his mother’s face. He has not felt her touch since he was 2 years old. Neither he nor his younger sister Jasmine has talked to their mother on the phone. No letters or birthday cards.
They live in Miami; she moved back to Haiti 17 years ago. Her children don’t know why, only that she was unable to care for them. Jason, 19, and Jasmine, 18, were raised by their father, and each other.
“I haven’t met my mom but I hope I can someday,” Jason said. “Me and my sister — we’ll go find her. I’m sure she’s still alive. But it’s a mystery.
“I think she left because she has mental health problems, same as me.”
They miss their mother most acutely around holidays and special occasions. They will celebrate another Christmas and another New Year without her.
“Honestly, I try not to think about my mother,” Jasmine said. “I’m jealous that other kids have their mom and we don’t. It makes me sad that she doesn’t talk to us. I tried to communicate when I was 15, but my relatives told me she refused. She must have a reason.
“I’ve heard that she’s beautiful, she had style, she always tried to do the right thing. One of these days, my brother and I, we’ll finally meet her.”
The 17-year separation has subtracted from Jason’s sense of self. He feels incomplete. As a child, he was angry, prone to temper tantrums.
“I acted out a lot. I broke things. I was disruptive in the classroom and my teachers didn’t like me,” Jason said. “I was diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit/hyper-activity disorder) and I take medication. Now I don’t get out-of-control mad anymore.
“I was bullied. The other kids made fun of my clothes and shoes because they were goofy and dirty. I remember being hungry sometimes.”
Jason talked candidly about the obstacles he’s surmounted as he sat outside the family’s second floor apartment on Northwest 54th Street in Model City. He prefers the breeze tunneling through the hallway to the hot, dark, cramped interior of their unit.
“Last year, I got very depressed. I had suicidal thoughts. One day I went up to the roof at school and thought about jumping,” he said, making a slashing motion across his throat with his index finger.
Since he graduated from William H. Turner Technical Arts High School in June, with a concentration in information technology, and got a job at Checker’s, he is feeling less depressed and anxious.
“I’d tell others to seek help and see a therapist. Don’t be afraid to talk about what’s bothering you,” Jason said. “Even at work, I try hard to be in a bright mood for the customers. Sometimes they even tip me.”
Jason has received therapy for ADHD and depression at New Horizons Community Mental Health Center since he was 12. He made progress throughout middle school but after an uncle died last year, his grades suffered and then “he spiraled down again,” said Nusrat Karim, Jason’s therapist and program coordinator for the children and families department. She nominated Jason for the Miami Herald’s annual Wish Book, which features stories of people in need and offers readers an opportunity to help those in the community who are less fortunate.
“He’s such a positive kid despite the emotional, academic and financial struggles he’s been through,” Karim said. “Missing his mom is like an ongoing grieving process that may never be resolved, so he is continually learning about how to cope with loss. We’ve talked about abandonment and rejection issues and how that is not a result of anything he did. We wrote a draft of a letter to his mom so he could express himself and recognize what’s happening.”
Though his mental health has improved, Jason is confronting another crisis. The family will be evicted from their apartment Jan. 1. Rent increased $200 per month, up to $900, and between Jason’s earnings and his father Narcisse’s pay as a groundskeeper at a Miami Beach golf course, they can’t afford it.
Jason is searching for a new place. He won’t miss their drab, aging building, or the holes in the floor and walls of their unit. Standing at the railing, he points out where a man was shot and killed in the parking lot below, and where another man was run over in the street.
“It’s a horrible situation for a lot of people in Miami,” he said. “We need a new home in a safe location but rent is so high. I have faith that no matter how hopeless it seems, we will make it.”
In his free time, Jason creates TikTok content. He’s got ideas. Lots of ideas that he describes with accelerating excitement and a widening smile. He records one-man skits, adopting multiple personas. He performs standup routines, too. In one of his popular ones he injected black humor into nursery rhymes: “Mary had a little lamb, but she was starving. And that lamb looked delicious.”
‘The democracy of TikTok’
It’s a world where nobody is an outcast. He’s proud that certain influencers have liked his videos.
“The democracy of TikTok allows my imagination to flow,” he said.
He’s also developing new video game concepts. He got hooked on gaming during COVID quarantines.
“Confidence overcomes anxiety so I’m working on my confidence,” said Jason, who was involved with the 500 Role Models of Excellence at Turner Tech. “Since I graduated, my life is no longer defined by school routines. I’m trying to discover my purpose.”
Jasmine, who is a senior at Northwestern High, is worried about her brother.
“He’s doing a little bit better but he’s still lost,” she said. “I tell him to save money, make new friends, go back to school and get a degree. My dad has high expectations for Jason, who is very smart but not always motivated.
“He needs a clear goal. He needs to get beyond TikTok. I know he wants to do something with his life, like computer science. I do. I want to be a nurse.”
Karim agrees.
“I could see Jason going to college but that’s on hold for now,” she said. “The family really needs housing stability.”
Jasmine and Jason have been playmates, helpmates and soulmates since they were toddlers, growing up with a single dad who worked long hours.
“My dad didn’t want me and Jason to go outside the apartment so we played with our toys. We used to make up characters for each building block, and we had a Ferris wheel that was our favorite,” she said. “We watched movies. Baked cookies. Made chicken and rice. Played with our dog, Bun Bun.
“It was kind of lonely when we were little. And things were bad for Jason during high school, especially during COVID when everybody was isolated and cut off. He used to tell me how he had no friends because he wasn’t cool.”
When he feels discouraged, Jason focuses on gratitude. He’s grateful for the bond with his sister.
“My dad always stresses that we’re in this together and we have to take care of each other,” Jason said. “The power of love keeps me going.”
For Jason, a laptop computer would be the perfect gift. Jasmine could use one, too.
Jason would appreciate clothes and shoes to add to his limited wardrobe.
Transportation is lacking since Jason’s father uses his old car all day. A bicycle would be helpful.
The family’s major, immediate need is a place to rent, and once they move they’ll need furniture and housewares for the kitchen.
“It’s a sweet family that needs support with the basic necessities that many of us take for granted,” Karim said.
How to help
To help this Wish Book nominee and the more than 100 other nominees who are in need this year:
▪ To donate, use the coupon found in the newspaper or pay securely online through www.MiamiHerald.com/wishbook
▪ For more information, call 305-376-2906 or emailWishbook@MiamiHerald.com
▪ The most requested items are often laptops and tablets for school, furniture, and accessible vans
▪ Read all Wish Book stories on www.MiamiHerald.com/wishbook
This story was originally published December 23, 2022 at 6:00 AM.
