What the circle of life has taught me as I celebrate my 88th birthday | Opinion

The circle of life is amazing.

I say this because as a mother, I still am in awe of how babies come into the world, bubbly and gurgling and soon, all grown up with families of their own. And the circle of life continues.

I thought about life and all it affords when I celebrated my 88^th birthday on Feb. 12. As I lay in bed on the morning of my birthday, I thanked the Lord for another “trip around the sun,” as some people say. But more than anything, I am thankful for a sound mind, a reasonable portion of health, and the strength to “wait” on myself (as one of my dear sisters in the Lord used to say) and help others.

I have lived long enough to know that what counts most in the circle of life is what you do with the time given to you. I must admit, there are times when I haven’t used the time given me to its fullest.

Looking back over the years, I have not always been on point. I have wasted some precious time. But when we are young, there seems to always be enough time. Our hourglass is full then, and the sand seems to be falling out slowly. So, we go about thinking there is time enough to waste a bit.

As a child, it seemed that my mom always knew that time is a precious commodity. As a youngster, I was never allowed to sleep late on Saturdays. Momma was a single mom who left home at 5:30 in the morning to catch the 6 a.m. bus to her job in Miami Beach.

Sleeping in on the weekend was a luxury I never was afforded. There was work for me to do — cleaning our tiny apartment in the Liberty Square housing project and doing the laundry — by hand in the neighborhood washhouse. Later, when the clothes were line-dried, there was the ironing to do.

Today, some people would say Momma put too much on me as a young teenager. I was only 14. Back then, I didn’t think that I was being overworked. It was my contribution for being a member of the family. Momma did her part by working, sometimes two jobs, to keep the roof over our head and food on the table. Helping at home was the least I could do.

There were times, however, when the load seemed a bit much, especially when I wanted to catch the early movie with my friends at the old Liberty Theater (we dubbed it The Shack). At such times, I hid some of the unironed clothes under the mattress of my bed. I didn’t know until years later that Momma knew about my hiding place.

All my chores had to be done by the time Momma got home from work. So, I turned on the radio to the station where the opera was broadcast — sometimes from Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center in New York — and went to work.

Although I didn’t understand the language the operas were performed in — mostly Italian or German — I felt the beauty of the music as the commentator, the late Milton Cross, who hosted the Saturday opera matinees for 43 years, explained the opera.

When I look back at those teenage years, I realize they were an important part of my circle of life. They helped to shape me into the wife and mother I was later to become. Watching Momma leave the house before dawn to make a living for me and my younger brother Adam taught me responsibility and determination. Momma was like the mail carrier — she didn’t let rain, nor heat, nor dark of night keep her from doing her part in the circle of life.

When I was a young married woman, Momma still thought it was her duty to make sure I fulfilled my duty as a wife to my husband Jimmy. Sometimes, married life wasn’t what I wanted it to be — it wasn’t always like it was in the romance novels I liked to read. Sometimes, I would get depressed and wouldn’t “fix” myself up to look nice for my husband.

Momma had a remedy for that. She stopped by our apartment one day on the way home from work and took one look at me and said, “You fixed yourself up to get that man, now you fix yourself up to keep him.”

She didn’t feel sorry for me. She just laid out the facts and said this, too, was a part of life. Marriage wasn’t always going to be like it is in romance novels. It took work to make it work.

And, so, I took Momma’s advice. When she left, I shampooed my hair and ironed my nicest shirt and matching Bermudas and made my husband’s favorite meal — chicken paprika. When Jimmy got home from work, he was pleasantly surprised. Did the change always work? No. But it taught me a lesson: Never stop trying to make life better, for you and for those you love.

Our circle of life also includes the loss of loved ones. I was 24 when Jimmy died. I didn’t know how to handle grief, but life taught me to find comfort in the Lord, and in Rick and Shawn, who were 4 years old and 15 months, respectively.

I found myself with a new title — widow. I had two young sons to raise. So, I joined the workforce, first as an $8-a-day- maid, and later as a file clerk at The Miami Herald. I have experienced many things in my circle of life — Jim Crow, lynchings, segregation and how water fountains were separated by race, and finally, integration.

I survived, without malice or prejudice or hate. Rather I have survived with dignity and love and compassion and respect for others.

So, my friends, life moves on. The circle has kept going around and round until I got to where I am now-in my 88^th year. While some people simply see me as being old, I see myself as one who has lived to the fullest, each stage of my circle.

I have learned from all the lessons of my life, especially not to waste time. Most of all, I have learned to be thankful.