Our kids don’t want our stuff, but there is one gift they will cherish | Opinion

I have a friend who is downsizing to move into a smaller place. She has spent months getting rid of things she has accumulated throughout her life — while still holding on to some things.

She is a woman who has always kept a beautiful home. She changed her home décor to match each season, and she celebrated every holiday with its theme. It was always a delight to walk into her home and see it decorated in the festive colors of not only Christmas, but of spring, summer and autumn.

As she trims down, things that were her treasures are now being sold at rummage sales or being sent to thrift stores. It’s heartbreaking to watch.

But it makes me think. As human beings, we spend a lot of our years here on earth collecting things and stuff that look pretty in our breakfronts and étagères. And some of us think, “I’ll leave this to one grandchild, and this to another...”

If truth be told, our grandchildren don’t want our “treasures.” They have their own taste and, as hurtful as it might seem, our “treasures” just don’t fit their lifestyles.

When I was growing up, our mothers and grandmothers saved their finest treasures — a handmade quilt or a set of crystal glasses with matching dishes — to pass on to us. Today, our children and grandchildren want to live a more decluttered life.

They don’t want extra things to have to dust on cleaning day and, anyway, what would they do with a hand-painted tea service that has some missing pieces? Or why would they want a set of plates with pictures of native birds painted on them? Or a set of silverware to polish when stainless steel works fine? Why would they want that extra work?

As I watch my friend struggle with what to keep, and what to let go, I think of myself. I am living in the evening of my life, and I must make some of the same decisions. I, too, have some “treasures” to leave behind. Not very many, but I have collected a few things over the years that are close to me.

Each item has a story that invokes a warm memory. Yet, I realize that the stories and memories about my treasures are mine, not my grandchildren’s. Even so, when I think of what each item has meant to me over the years, or the level of comfort I feel whenever I hold one of them in my hand, it is hard to let go.

The Lord knew we would have problems letting go of our earthly treasures. I believe that is one of the reasons why He warned us of the perils of gathering treasures here on earth, where thieves can break in and rob us, and/or where moths and disasters can destroy them. Rather, the Lord tells us in Matthew 6:19-21:

“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.”

When the Lord instructs us to “lay up” treasures in heaven, He isn’t speaking of tangible things. Rather, He speaks of spiritual treasures. Things like kindness, love, compassion and patience. There is not a thief or any army of moths on earth that can destroy this kind of treasure.

I am not saying that we shouldn’t have nice things while here on earth – things that we would love to pass on as a tradition to our children. Neither does the Lord.

I believe the Lord wants us to have lovely things. I just don’t believe He wants us to love them so hard that when it is time to let go, we struggle at cutting the ties. Or lament because our children consider them junk and do not want them.

I believe it is a good thing to have something to pass on to our children, providing it is something that they will want, or need. So, while not all of us can leave a monetary inheritance to our children, we can leave something they will need to navigate their way through life.

We can leave the gifts of love and compassion, something that doesn’t cost a cent. We can leave the gifts of integrity and loyalty, and of being good citizens. We can be a living example of everyday kindness.

Our children and grandchildren might not want our earthly treasures. But they are watching us to see how we live in these turbulent times. They are watching to see how we scale our mountains of heartaches and defeats and disappointments.

While these virtues are not tangible treasures, they are nonetheless valuable. And they speak volumes to our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

So, don’t fret if your grandchildren don’t want your earthly treasures. You can still leave them something. It is a gift that will comfort them in their darkest hour and guide them through minefields filled with traps to hinder them on their life journey. It is a gift that will never leave them, nor forsake them. It is the gift of love.

Sound a bit corny, you say? Yes, it does. But love never fails; love guides and comforts us when it’s time to declutter our life. More than anything, love will guide us as we face life’s sunset.

These are my musings as I watch my friend struggle with downsizing and decluttering her life. Then the light comes on in my head: I have work to do, too. I wonder which granddaughter will want the eight, minus one, set of crystal goblets I’ve been saving for years?

Cantor returns home

It’s welcome home time for Tami Cherdack Sherman, who was recently installed as the cantor of Congregation Dor Chadash in Kendall.

Rabbi Stephen Fuchs and Rabbi Jonathan Tabachnikoff of Dor Chadash officiated at her installation ceremony at the Dave and Mary Alper Jewish Community Center.

Cherdack Sherman, a professional vocalist, pianist and guitarist, is a graduate of Miami Killian High School. She received her training at Hebrew College in Brookline, Massachusetts. She has a master’s of music from the New England Conservatory, and a doctoral fellowship from the University of Connecticut.

Cherdack Sherman has returned to Miami to serve the congregation that she said is “deeply connected to my family history, and is a truly fulfilling homecoming. This opportunity represents the culmination of a diverse and rewarding career.”

“Cantor Tami is an incredible addition to Dor Chadash, and all of South Florida. She simply leaves her audience spellbound and the congregation inspired,” said Rabbi Tabachnikoff, the spiritual leader of Dor Chadash.

Cherdack Sherman is married to Dr. Aaron Shermanm, a rabbi and magician. She is the mother of five sons.