Cherishing the last words I said to my son: A lesson in loving your loved ones | Opinion

On this day (Sept. 13), seven years ago, I had the last conversation with my son, Pastor James Fredrick Hines Jr., also known as Rick.

He called me around 11:30 p.m. that night — it was Friday the 13th — and we spoke for about an hour.

He said he was tired. It had been a busy day for him. He had worked an eight-hour shift; left work in time to attend a Pee Wee League football game that his grandson Jaylen played in. Later, he helped with the packing of his youngest daughter Jamie, who was moving the next day.

As we talked, I could hear the weariness in his voice. But we stayed on the line for more than an hour before he said he was tired and was going to fix a late-night snack for his grandsons. He had both grandsons — Jaylen and Tavaris — with him; “then we are going to bed.”

It was something about our conversation that made me want to keep him on the phone a little longer.

So, I said, “... Before you hang up, let me make you laugh.”

And I told him the story of how I had his two grandsons at my house earlier that day and they had made a big, muddy mess on my front porch. They had found empty flower pots and had filled them with dirt and broken limbs from a tree in the yard.

When I asked what they were doing, they told me, “We are planting trees so we can build a tree house.”

It tickled me so I couldn’t scold them about the mess they had made. I didn’t want to spoil their tree-house dreams by telling them how long it would take for the sticks to grow into trees.

Rick had a good long laugh, just picturing the mess and the faces of his “boys” as they anticipated their future tree house.

Then I said, “Mom loves you, baby. Have a good night.” He said, “I love you too, Mom.”

We said goodnight and hung up. I lay in bed for a while, still smiling at the memory of my great-grandsons and their tree-house plans.

It seems I had just drifted off to sleep when the phone rang. It was Debra, my daughter-in-law, screaming in the phone that Rick had stopped breathing… The paramedics were working on him.

I remember hearing a scream coming from somewhere in my house. It was me.

LaQuonia, Rick’s middle daughter, was staying with me at the time. I live closer to Miami Dade College, where she was enrolled at the time. My screams had awakened her. I managed to tell her what was wrong and there was another scream — this time from her.

Somehow, we managed to get out of the house and drove to the hospital, where the rest of the family and Rick and Debra’s pastor, Rev. Eric Jones, were waiting in the emergency room.

We prayed and cried as the doctors tried to keep my older son alive. But it wasn’t to be. He slipped away while his loved ones stood around him. I looked at his lifeless face, smiling through my tears, and kissed him on his forehead one last time. He was 55.

There was such a peaceful look on his face; no sign of the trauma that a heart attack often leaves on a victim’s face. That gave me some comfort.

Rick had made his peace with the Lord some years ago when he got saved. At his church, Pastor Jones had appointed him youth pastor, a position he took very seriously.

He worked hard to make converts out of his boyhood friends. Often after work, he would hit the streets talking to young boys and men, trying to lead them to the Lord.

I think about our last conversation a lot, and how it is so important to let your loved ones know you love them while they are alive. I am so glad I said, “Mom loves you, baby,” to my son.

It was the last words he heard from me before the Lord took him home. And knowing that he knew I loved him, still gives me comfort.

New president of the Miami Women’s Club

Congratulations to Shirley Pardon, the newly installed president of the Miami Women’s Club (MWC). She joined the 120-year-old community organization in 2006 and replaces Linda Joseph, who served the club for the past four years.

Pardon, a real estate professional and a Certified International Property Realtor, moved to Miami in 1991 with her late husband Leonard Pardon, a famed artist, whose work graces public buildings and cruise ships as well as palaces. She is the club’s first British president.

As president, Pardon will oversee the finishing of the restoration project of the club’s historic bayfront property, due to be completed in 2021.

“My heart has been in the MWC since I joined,’’ she said. “We are looking forward to finally returning to our iconic home and planning to launch a new and exciting era for the Miami Women‘s Club.”

Metris Batts Coley, the club’s first vice president, said, “Shirley immediately got involved in her new community by becoming an active civic worker. She is going to be a great president because of her involvement with other organizations such as the Rotary Club, her church and her church’s mission trips. She is a well-rounded person, which will make her a great leader for our club.”

This story was originally published September 11, 2020 at 7:00 AM.