Broward County

NBA champ sues comedian ‘The Alphabitch’ for trashing his Fort Lauderdale mansion

The Chicago Bulls’ Scottie Pippen drives past the Miami Heat’s Jamal Mashburn in the third game of the Eastern Conference Final in Miami on May 24, 1997.
The Chicago Bulls’ Scottie Pippen drives past the Miami Heat’s Jamal Mashburn in the third game of the Eastern Conference Final in Miami on May 24, 1997. AP file

One one side of the court: an NBA Hall of Famer with six championships.

On the other side of the court: a South Florida criminal defense lawyer turned stand-up comic nicknamed “The Alphabitch.”

A Broward County Circuit Court judge will have to decide who wins in the lawsuit filed by retired Chicago Bulls basketball star Scottie Pippen against Fort Lauderdale comedian Lindsay Glazer Woloshin and her husband, Jacob Woloshin. The suit was filed this week in Fort Lauderdale.

As reported Tuesday by Courthouse News, Pippen’s Miami-based Scottie M. Pippen Revocable Trust is suing the Woloshins for leaving his $10 million dollar mansion on Del Lago Drive in Fort Lauderdale “trashed” and for “literally stealing personal items, including a Cuisinart knife set and other utensils,” according to court documents.

He seeks more than $102,000 in damages.

Glazer Woloshin’s publicist James Judge, of Tampa’s Judge Public Relations, issued a news release on her behalf Wednesday. In it, she called the lawsuit “inaccurate” and disputed Pippen’s charge that she lifted his utensils.

Said Glazer Woloshin: “One of the crimes alleged in the suit, which is purported to have occurred at the Pippen residence, is the suspected theft of Cuisinart cutlery. A quick Google search reveals that a set can be purchased in assorted colors as a 12-pack on Amazon for $13.83.”

So Glazer Woloshin said “to help Scottie out” she launched a GoFundMe crowdfunding campaign on Wednesday to replace Pippen’s missing knife set.

“Making the list of the most financially irresponsible players in NBA history is no easy feat, so we’re turning to the public to help him out in these trying times,” Glazer Woloshin said in Judge’s news release, citing a 2012 Bleacher Report story. “While we’re not responsible for the alleged damage and missing items he and his attorneys claim, we want to raise the whole $13.83 by turning to Mr. Pippen’s fans.”

Glazer Woloshin said if $14 is raised via the GoFundMe page, she’ll send Pippen “a 12-pack, assorted colors, Cuisinart knife set” and that all of the funds raised from the campaign would be donated to the Fisher House Foundation, which helps members of the military, retirees, veterans and their families.

By Thursday afternoon, the GoFundMe had raised $31 on a $14 goal from five donors. Judge kicked in the first $10.

Pippen’s lawsuit, filed by Miami attorney Jason Giller, said the couple sought out temporary housing in the Fort Lauderdale area after they said Hurricane Irma damaged their home on South Gordon Road in September 2017.

They focused on Pippen’s fully furnished mansion, which was on the market for about $10 million, “despite [it] being more than three times the size of their own abode,” the suit said.

Glazer Woloshin entered into a rental agreement with Pippen’s trust to move into the home from Oct. 13, 2017 to May 12, 2018. The lease agreement states she would pay $30,000 a month in rent. The first three months rent, at $90,000, were due upon signing of the lease, along with a $50,000 security deposit.

But the lawsuit suggests that 50 grand doesn’t come close to covering the damage the mansion underwent during the Woloshins’ stay. The suit claims that Glazer Woloshin not only refused to pay for damages “but also demanded that the security deposit paid by her insurer and [housing agent] CRS, be paid, in whole or in part, to her!”

“Beyond the plethora of factual inaccuracies in the complaint, Glazer was never served and found out about the suit through a reporter who reached out for comment,” Glazer Woloshin’s statement said.

Pippen is suing for $109,317 — and 62 cents — to reimburse the trust for damages to the six-bedroom, 13,500-square-foot manse. He alleges these damages include:

“Allowing her ‘domestic animals’ to urinate on furniture, linens, beds, floors, carpets and basically anything they chose.”

The lease listed that Lindsay and Jacob Woloshin would be living there with their 4-year-old daughter, a lab dog, a cat and a nanny/housekeeper.

Damaging the front gate and home entertainment system and “destroying countless cabinets and drawers,” according to the suit.

Causing the home to become infested with insects, neglecting its care, “allowing many aspects of the home to fall into disrepair.”

And removing personal household items that included the Cuisinart knife set, along with failing to pay the rent when due and using the home for commercial use. Also, “failure to return the property to [the] plaintiff in the same condition in which it was tendered.”

The last point was a term of the lease, insisting that the tenants maintain the home in “show condition” for sale.

Lindsay Glazer Woloshin’s webpage for her stand up comedy act.

“The allegations contained in the lawsuit are false and in many instances, preposterous,” Glazer Woloshin told the Miami Herald via email Thursday. “As an example, it is important to note that after my family and I moved out of the house, Pippen imposed a claim for damages on the security deposit of $50,000, however, after our attorney formally objected to this claim, Pippen eventually returned the entire deposit.”

In addition, she said the Pippen house they lived in for about seven months “was in poor condition when we first moved in and we left it in a much better condition.”

Glaser Woloshin added: “We have no intention on paying the amount demanded by Pippen and we will aggressively defend the lawsuit.”

Money should be no object for the Woloshins, Giller implies in the suit.

“Lindsay Glazer is a member of the Glazer family, which owns the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Manchester United Football (Soccer) team,” Giller’s suit points out. “Collectively, the family’s net worth exceeds $4.5 billion.”

That assertion led Glazer Woloshin to crack, through her publicist, “If I’m a member of that Glazer family, that’s news to me. If that were the case, we would have leased from Michael Jordan instead.”

Pippen, 53, retired from the NBA in 2008. His famed run on the Chicago Bulls included two separate stints from 1987 to 1998 and a return in 2003-04. He played alongside Michael Jordan on a Chicago Bulls team that won six titles in the 1990s.

Glazer Woloshin, 40, is still a member of the Florida Bar. Her Lindsay Glazer comedian website’s bio says she practices “Equal opportunity comedy.”

She goes on to say that it’s a “good thing I’m a defense attorney because I can rep myself after I kill the crowds with my own personal brand of badass stand-up comedy in the clubs of LA, NYC, Miami and everywhere else there’s a mic and a stage.”

The comic lists upcoming December stand-up appearances in Ocala, Palm Harbor and Miami Beach.

Miami Herald Real Time/Breaking News reporter Howard Cohen, a 2017 Media Excellence Awards winner, has covered pop music, theater, health and fitness, obituaries, municipal government and general assignment. He started his career in the Features department at the Miami Herald in 1991.
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