Love in the time of coronavirus: Weddings canceled
You may not kiss the bride.
Dancing cheek to cheek would violate social distancing protocol. Toasting champagne flutes contaminated with saliva could transfer tens of thousands of infectious microbes. The traditional tossing of the bouquet? Not when it’s a germ bomb.
Love in the time of coronavirus is not romantic. Weddings canceled. Honeymoons ditched. Dreams deferred.
Countless couples are being jilted at the 2020 altar by a disease called COVID-19, which is also devastating businesses connected to the wedding industry: event planners, caterers, florists, photographers, dressmakers, bridal shops, musicians and popular venues that count on multiple receptions every weekend.
Helen Roldan and Luciano Carneiro of Miami Lakes went to Brazil a week before their March 21 wedding in his hometown of Campos dos Goytacazes. It was to double as a grand family reunion for relatives from Spain, South America and the U.S. But as the new coronavirus spread and their invitees’ travel plans were disrupted, they quickly downsized from 150 to 70 guests, and from six bridesmaids to three.
A day later, the cascade of bad news intensified, they feared getting stranded and they called the whole thing off, including the meticulously planned excursion to Buzios, the boat ride, the reception at a ranch, the gift bottles of cachaca with “Helen & Luciano, Brazil 2020” labels.
On Tuesday, they drank a consolatory caipirinha as police cleared the bars in Rio, boarded the last American Airlines flight out and made it home, where they are watching Netflix and self-isolating.
“We’re on the honeymoon that never happened for the wedding that never happened,” Roldan said with black humor. “Our friends are calling it the Plague Wedding.”
The vendors they hired promised to honor their $20,000 in payments for a future date — except the florist, who delivered bouquet after bouquet to the couple on Monday because the fresh flowers could not be returned. Aching to capture some memories, they donned their wedding clothes and took photos.
“I’ve never experienced such a combination of joy, hope, anxiety, despair and depression simultaneously,” said Carneiro, who was looking forward to showing his favorite places to his friends and spending time with his father, a cancer survivor. “It was a hot fudge sundae of emotions.
“At least we handled it together. There was a lot of potential for fighting but we kept laughing. We had to. It was surreal.”
Mallie Lesniewski and Luke Guthrie have postponed their $30,000 March 28 country wedding in England until October. She’s in Miami, he’s stuck on the Isle of Man, they haven’t seen each other since January and because of travel bans they have no idea when they’ll see each other next.
But they are confident love will endure, in sickness and in health.
“I had my weekend of freaking out, stress rash, self-pity and sadness. Luke is very rational. He’s British. Now we’re trying to help people who are truly in trouble because of the virus,” Lesniewski said. She described the historic estate in Aylesbury where they were to be joined by 90 guests. “An enchanted and romantic spot on a pond with weeping willows and a garden conservatory.
“I’m thinking this is a test of our relationship, which goes back to when we were teenagers on summer swim team together. We went our separate ways and then reconnected on Facebook in 2017. He said he’d always had a crush on me. He was very charming. And here we are, separated again.”
Aurora Dillon and Sam Modzelewski had planned a classic Miami-style outdoor wedding April 4 on the sands of South Beach with reception, dessert bar and DJ on the rooftop of the Boulan Hotel but postponed it until November, which is hot, humid, hurricane season. He did manage to hold his bachelor’s party in New Orleans — just as police were herding revelers off Bourbon Street.
In the meantime, the couple will tie the knot officially by filling out paperwork at the courthouse — if the courthouse isn’t closed.
“The first straw was when my 84-year-old granny said it was too risky to come from Portland, Oregon,” said Dillon, who was planning to wear the bridal veil her grandmother and mother had worn. “Then we realized it would be terrible if our wedding contributed to the spread of coronavirus. It would not have been a fun party — ‘I want to hug you, but, sorry, no hugs.’
“Our families have had a rough eight months so we needed the wedding to be a happy affair. We’ve been dating for seven years, so we can wait and do it properly.”
Blake Parker and Charlotte Jay decided they’d rather be newlyweds than someday-weds. So they held an impromptu wedding Tuesday evening at his father’s condo and live-streamed the small ceremony to the 230 guests, 11 bridesmaids and 12 groomsmen who had been invited to their March 28 wedding at Fort Lauderdale’s picturesque Bonnet House.
“Charlotte and her dad lathered up in Purell and linked elbows and walked down the makeshift aisle,” said Parker, 29, a Hollywood dentist. “He and I did an elbow bump. We read our vows, exchanged rings, smashed the glass, and, yes, we did kiss — we took a risk on that. But no other hugging or kissing was allowed. Our 12 guests were spaced apart and had access to Clorox wipes.”
Once Parker and Jay decided to postpone the big celebration for one year, they made a quick plan to hold an informal wedding on the beach. Then the beaches were closed. They improvised again because Jay wanted her grandmother and aunt, in town from England, to partake in the ceremony before they had to hurry home to beat the travel ban on Wednesday.
“Within the span of four hours on Monday we planned a scaled-down version of the wedding we’d been planning for seven months. It’s amazing what you can do when you have to,” Parker said. “We realized the most important thing wasn’t the wedding but our commitment to the marriage.”
Their wedding planner, Abby Gallagher of Blue Orchid Events, was excited about what she called their “virtual eloping,” and filmed the ceremony on Event Live. It’s got 1,000 views and counting.
The 275 businesses in South Florida geared toward event production are suffering as much or more than brides and grooms. Thousands of events are being wiped off calendars, according to the FIU Chaplin School of Hospitality and Tourism Management. Hosts are hesitant to reschedule given uncertainty over the impact of coronavirus.
“We have a limited inventory of times and dates, and only 52 Saturdays per year,” said Dean Holderman, co-owner of So Cool Events, referring to prime time for social events like weddings, parties, bar/bat mitzvahs and quinceañeras. “People don’t realize that they are not just hiring us for one day or six hours. It’s the months of planning and preparation that’s been invested leading up to the event.
“Small businesses depend on cash flow. Clients who saved up for these events are asking for their deposits back, but they need to reschedule to bring the industry back online in the long term.”
Robert Egert, president of Exquisite Catering in North Miami, typically does 100 weddings per year, which account for 20 percent of his $9 million in annual revenue. He’s fielding cancellations by the day, including two for weddings in Pembroke Pines that were planned for Saturday and Sunday. Corporate catering, which is the bulk of his business, is down from 30-40 orders per day to two. He’s keeping his 55 employees working and 18 trucks rolling on a reduced schedule delivering meals to the National Guard in Broward and Miami-Dade.
“We are giving 100 percent refunds — even though once we start changing dates, we lose money — because this is out of everyone’s control. We hope when our clients come back, they’ll come back to us,” he said.
“It’s going to be a long haul. At least with a hurricane, you know it’s coming and you know it’s going to end. When will this end? Two months, eight months, a year?”
Egert said he feels sympathy for couples altering their wedding plans but even more for high school seniors who will miss out on proms and graduation ceremonies.
“If you’re a senior, you can’t get those memories back,” he said. “You can always get married later. And 70 percent will get divorced anyway.”
This story was originally published March 20, 2020 at 6:30 AM.
