‘Family Feud’ isn’t just a game show — it’s also a housing situation
AI-generated summary reviewed by our newsroom.
- Family disputes over homes most often fall into five categories, including inheritance.
- Real estate agents, mediators and financial advisers often assist during divorces.
- Experts advise each interested family member or spouse obtain separate representation.
On the game show “Family Feud,” host Steve Harvey tries to make the battle between households fun. But there’s nothing enjoyable when family members are at odds off-screen — especially when it comes to real estate.
“The most difficult sales” are those in which families are at loggerheads with one another, says Jeff Lichtenstein, owner of Echo Fine Properties in Palm Beach Gardens, who addressed the topic in a recent blog post.
There’s no one-size-fits-all scenario when family members are fighting among themselves over the house, among other things of value. But generally, says Lichtenstein, the battles break down into one of five categories:
Inheritance: After the parents have passed, the inheritance combat usually begins. And “the more siblings involved, the better the odds it’s going to get ugly,” Lichtenstein says. “The rational kids usually just want it sold in a normal fashion. The child who is jealous of others or perceives that life has treated them unfairly can cause endless headaches.” Here, it is best that each party obtain their own agent to represent their interests alone: “There won’t be so much bad blood if everyone feels they’re in the loop and being heard.”
Pre-Divorce: In this situation, divorce is in the cards, but the couple doesn’t know it yet. They may be looking at new houses together, but can’t find anything they both like enough to pull the trigger. Or they may have their house on the market but turn down every offer, even full-price contracts with no strings attached. Eventually, they’ll come to terms with their situation and ask themselves where their marriage is headed. At that point, they’ll become serious buyers and sellers — separately. Cool heads still prevail; the friction comes later.
Divorce: This is the real thing: Splitsville. Here again, each of the soon-to-be-former partners should have their own real estate agents, just like they have their own lawyers. Some divorces are actually amicable: The parties have accepted the situation and are ready to move on. As Lichtenstein says, “Some people work better as business partners than love partners. ”While these people may not hire lawyers, they will still need mediators and financial advisers, says longtime Massachusetts agent Bill Gassett: “These professionals provide invaluable assistance.” Unfortunately, most divorces are messy, especially when one party is vindictive. Such a person is likely to be totally uncooperative: won’t clean up before showings, for instance. Won’t help stage the house. Won’t agree to any contract offers. Won’t sign anything. In other words, he or she won’t lift a finger to help sell the house. This behavior usually comes to an end when the unreasonable partner realizes that it’s costing him or her money. In some divorces, one party simply hands the keys to the other and leaves. But in that case, the departing spouse is still liable for the mortgage. So, advises Ohio agent Sam Miller, it’s better to either sell the place outright to the other spouse or refinance it solely in the name of the remaining spouse.
Blended: In this situation, two homeowners are coming together, often with children in tow, to become one household. Now, they want one or both previous houses sold so they can move on with their new blended family. Here’s where the kids can foil the deal: They’re suspicious of the new stepparent and are protective of their own parent. They may not even like each other. Each adult needs to sit down with their own children and discuss things -- way in advance of an actual move. Listen to their concerns and try to answer them as best as you can, but also discuss your needs and desires to help get them on board. Once you speak separately to your children, bring the entire household together for a second talk to clear the air. Together. Deciding to buy an investment property or vacation home with another person or couple sounds like a good idea -- and it can be. But sometimes the deal can go south. One side doesn’t have the money to pay for a necessary HVAC upgrade, for example, or one side is doing all the maintenance work. Maybe one side demands to see an accounting sheet for all funds — every month. Maybe one party simply wants out for no apparent reason Anything can louse up the deal. So it’s best to agree in the beginning, when cool heads are prevailing, exactly how you will dissolve your partnership if it comes to that. That way, you won’t be trying to come to an agreement when one side is angry with the other.
Finally, a word about attorneys. Yes, they are expensive, but they are the experts who know how to tie up all the loose ends. Even when a split is friendly or an inheritance seems simple, you will need guidance. So bite the bullet and protect yourself.
Lew Sichelman has been covering real estate for more than 50 years. He is a regular contributor to numerous shelter magazines and housing and housing-finance industry publications. Readers can contact him at lsichelman@aol.com