You Don't Mess With the Zohan (PG-13) ***

By Rene Rodriguez, Miami Herald 

”A hair-homo” is what one of the Zohan’s old friends calls him after bumping into him on the streets of New York. Once revered as Israel’s butchest, most unstoppable Mossad agent, Zohan (Adam Sandler) faked his own death and moved to New York, adopting the new name Scrappy Coco and setting out to fulfill his life-long dream of making people ”silky smooth.”

But after getting turned down by Paul Mitchell (”I will destroy you!” the dejected stylist cries), Zohan ends up sweeping hair at a salon in a half-Israeli, half-Palestinian neighborhood where his old acquaintances mock him for his secret blow-drying fantasies and where the neighbors’ constant fighting and arguing make him feel sadly at home.

Before You Don’t Mess With the Zohan is over, Scrappy Coco will have taught the neighborhood the value of peaceful cohabitation, settled the score with his arch-nemesis, the Palestinian terrorist Phantom (John Turturro), met Mariah Carey and more than proven his heterosexuality by ”pleasing” his female customers — including Charlotte Rae, aka Mrs. Garrett from The Facts of Life.

To say that You Don’t Mess With the Zohan is Sandler’s funniest comedy to date doesn’t really mean anything: Despite the huge popularity of pictures such as Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison and Sandler’s box office clout, the actor has gotten rich on one of the worst oeuvres of any comedian since Jerry Lewis (there’s a lesson in there somewhere).

This is why Zohan feels like such a surprise. Sandler, now 41, is still doing his sweet-nice guy schtick: Even though the Zohan is the baddest of bad-asses who can take down an army single-handed, catches bullet with his teeth and throws piranhas into his crotch to prove he can tolerate any pain, he also happens to be a modest, courteous lad who doesn’t mess with anyone — unless they mess with him first.

What’s different about Zohan is the script, co-written by Sandler, Robert Smigel (Triumph the Insult Comic Dog) and Judd Apatow (Knocked Up, Superbad), works overtime to ensure the movie is more than just a premise. There are a lot of supporting characters in the film, from Lainie Kazan as one of Zohan’s paramours to Rob Schneider (ugh!) as a cab driver-turned-terrorist, but director Dennis Dugan works all of them into the plot without stopping the jokes.

For all its anti-war, pro-peace and harmony messages, Zohan also delivers all the bad-boy antics Sandler’s core audience demands. The film has an ethnic or racial joke to go along with each of its can’t-we-all-get-along sermons, which makes the heavy-handed and obvious speechifying go down a lot easier. Essentially, You Don’t Mess With the Zohan isn’t all that different in tone and sensibility from Sandler’s previous films, but he’s really trying in this one, and the effort pays off. ”You don’t giggle at the Zohan,” warns one of the agent’s sycophantic groupies, and he’s right: You only laugh at him, heartily and constantly.

Cast: Adam Sandler, John Turturro, Emmanuelle Chiriqui, Rob Schneider, Nick Swardson, Lainie Kazan.

Director: Dennis Dugan.

Screenwriters: Adam Sandler, Robert Smigel, Judd Apatow.

Producers: Adam Sandler, Jack Giarraputo.

A Columbia Pictures release. Running time: 113 minutes. Vulgar language, mock violence, sexual situations, adult themes.

This story was originally published June 5, 2008 at 12:06 AM.