Here in Miami, we’re from everywhere, our differences as easy to spot as sunburn on a Midwesterner. Sports victory is one of the glues that bind us (the others are pastelitos and Publix subs). But the NBA playoffs start Saturday, so if you need encouragement, here are seven reasons you should root for the Miami Heat this year.
1. Hassan Whiteside’s blocks.
Angry? Frustrated? Tired of The Man getting you down? Work out your aggressions watching the seven-footer crush opponents’ dreams by sending their shots into the third row.
2. Josh Richardson’s three-pointers.
Like a phoenix from the ashes, the kid Shaq Daddy calls BRA (Baby Ray Allen) rose from the D League to bring joy to our hearts everytime he lets one fly from downtown.
3. Justise Winslow’s hair.
Sure, his defense can be quite impressive for a rookie. But Winslow’s hair game is impeccable. Josh McRoberts took one look at it, sighed, surrendered and chopped off his own trademark locks. Not even Gerald Green’s terrifying man bun can compete.
4. Dwyane Wade’s knees.
Will they hold out or collapse like a Kendall roof in a Category 4? Stay tuned.
5. Heat victories encourage us to be nice to each other.
Smiling and saying “Go Heat!” is a nice change from the usual four-letter abuse we resort to when someone gets into the “10 items only” line in front of us with a loaded shopping cart.
6. Who else has a shot, however remote, at a championship run?
The Dolphins? The Marlins? HAHAHAHAHAHA. Let’s be real. Sure, up in Broward, the Panthers won the NHL’s Atlantic Division. But here in Miami, if you want a shot, you turn to Micky Arison.
7. One word: LeBron.
There’s no guarantee the Heat and the Cleveland Cavaliers will meet in the playoffs. But you want to see that matchup like a fat kid wants cake, and the only way we’re going to see it is if DWade and the guys keep winning. So … Let’s Go, Heat.