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What if the 2016 Oscar-nominated movies took place in Miami?

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Set the film in Miami, twist up the plot and every movie nominated for an Oscar this year would be worthy of the Academy Award. 


“Mad Max: Fury Road”

A shooting shuts down I-95 for nine hours, everybody from the Golden Glades interchange to the Rickenbacker Causeway runs out of gas and one woman (possibly me) vows to move to a place where there are no cars, say the parking garage at Marlins Park.


“The Revenant”

A python hunter from Okeechobee is abandoned by his friends for a Blake Shelton concert and tries to find his way back to his pickup truck in the Everglades. On the way he is molested by a giant snake, which is only slightly more upsetting than attending a Blake Shelton concert.



A young immigrant arrives in a strange new city, moves to Brickell and misses home when she is kept awake all night by cement mixers and Pitbull songs. Happily she makes it to work every morning thanks to the magical and healing properties of Café Cubano. 



A woman and her son are stuck living in a tiny, dilapidated shed, not because they have been kidnapped by a psycho but because that’s all they can afford on Miami Beach.


“Bridge of Spies”

An attorney is ordered to defend the most evil and hated man in Miami, Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria, but heroically ends up negotiating a swap for LeBron James that sends Loria to Cleveland and brings the Heat a fourth championship.



A team of intrepid journalists struggles to break a big story about Medicare fraud or drug money or the presence of stripper poles in the University of Miami locker room only to find their office has been sold to a hotel consortium and razed. Relocated to Doral, they instead investigate the chicken tacos at Lime, because driving anywhere else takes too long.


“The Big Short”

A bunch of guys sit around and try to figure out how to make money off other people’s misery. They are led by Dolphins owner Stephen Ross, who excels at this sort of thing.


“The Martian”

A guy’s friends leave him at Prime 112 without a cell phone or credit card. With no way to contact Uber, he must figure out how to get back across the causeway to return to his home planet of Kendall.