Miami upped its barbecue game, but this spot is still a local favorite after 69 years
Shorty’s Bar-B-Q isn’t a throwback — it’s an original.
There’s no irony in the Kendall restaurant’s communal picnic tables. An American flag on the back wall is not a design element. The black-and-white photos of founder Edward Lewis “Shorty” Allen aren’t a corporate reproduction.
And that’s why even as serious barbecue restaurants open in Miami — notably the excellent Brooklyn import Hometown Bar-B-Cue and the crowd-pleaser by a local, Society BBQ — locals still fill the Shorty’s dining room.
Its biggest fans today were its biggest fans in 1972 when it burned down and reopened to the same Old Florida clientele. They grew up, brought their children and grandchildren, and it remains a busy one-story anachronism along US-1.
Let those Miami lifers take you for the first time.
Let them tell you stories — about the waitress who worked here for four decades, about the way it looked as a log cabin when it opened in 1951, about the grandfather they buried with a Shorty’s two-for-one coupon tucked inside his jacket pocket.
And let them order. Because the only way to eat at Shorty’s amid Miami’s barbecue imitation-as-flattery boom is by slathering the visit in nostalgia and the spareribs in Shorty’s Sauce.
Order ribs and chicken and don’t look back
The late Shorty Allen (who lived to 104!) sold the restaurant in 1980 to a group, which added a page full of options and other locations. But the dishes to order — and the place to order them — were on the menu board in 1951 at the location South Miami annexed from Kendall: chicken and ribs.
I’m guessing Shorty knew what he was doing when he designed a simple menu for the masses, where the chicken and spareribs both take exactly 2 ½ hours to cook. One fire, two kinds of meat, all done at the same time.
The spare ribs have a light smoke to them, not a true pink ring, which you can’t get from what amounts to a slow grilling rather than barbecue. But they’re approachable, not overly peppery.
For a kick, you’ll want the Shorty’s Sauce. The vinegary and thick concoction comes warm in a pepper flake shaker, like at your local pizza joint, and the sauce will resist gravity when you turn it over, like a Dairy Queen Blizzard.
It’s strong. Give it a shake on your plate and run the ribs through it like you’d drag your sashimi through soy sauce.
And you do want the spareribs. Baby backs are the opium of the masses because they tenderize easily and go down smooth with enough sweet-tangy sauce. The locals’ favorites at Shorty’s are the spareribs. Trust the locals.
Chicken is best saved for the pork averse. It’s the safe bet, where the meat has a slight smoky flavor and makes the perfect vehicle for Shorty’s Sauce or the tangy-sweet bottle on every picnic table.
Make coleslaw, not war
Coleslaw variations at the family cookout can lead to feuds. (I suspect this is what led to unpleasantries between the Hatfields and McCoys.)
Shorty’s version strikes a balance. Just enough mayo to hold it together, just enough sweetness to light up your dopamine centers, just enough vinegar to keep it light.
Don’t just order fries
“Yes,” is not a sufficient answer when the waiter asks if you want Shorty’s crinkle-cut fries.
Your correct answer, fans showed us, should include the key words “extra crispy” or “well done.” The waiter will get it.
Your meaty crinkle-cut fries will arrive tender inside and just crisp enough to dab into a ketchup, because that’s what you do with fries.
Onion rings are a must
No, they weren’t on the OG menu, but locals are willing to break tradition for Shorty’s onion rings.
The thick-cut sweet onion rings are dipped in a savory-sweet batter that crunches like an earthquake. The mild horseradish dipping sauce is required.
Look at your hands
They’re a mess. They’re covered in Shorty’s Sauce, smell like smoked meat and it would take a dozen Wet-Naps to clean up.
Fear not. The waiter has placed a cup of warm water to your right that is not for drinking. Dip your fingertips into it and be reminded of the Caribbean waters of your last cruise vacation.
Now no one will be the wiser when you arrive at work not smelling like a cookout. And you can take your coworkers next time, fully empowered as a Shorty’s veteran.
Shorty’s Bar-B-Q
9200 S Dixie Hwy, South Miami; locations throughout South Florida
