They stuffed a fried ham croqueta inside a chocolate chip cookie. Would you eat it?

If The Fonz had tried to jump the shark, landed in the water and been torn to shreds, you would have what the world learned of today: the croqueta cookie.

You read those words right.

I’m sorry to report that a fried ham croqueta stuffed inside of a chocolate chip cookie is a real thing that exists in the universe. And you will soon be able to buy it. My God, you’ll soon be able to buy it, que Diós te ampare.

Night Owl Cookies, which became Miami-famous for delivering fresh-baked cookies late at night long before Uber Eats, partnered with the hit Dos Croquetas croqueta bar in Westchester to genetically engineer this creation.

They started with Dos Croquetas’ classic ham croqueta —a creamy, deep fried morsel of minced ham and bechamel. Then, they baked it into Night Owl’s classic, gooey chocolate chip cookie. They never stopped to consider whether they should.

They call it the 3 Dough 5.

“The exclusive Hispanic-themed treat...is a true match made in Miami,” the press release lies flatly.

This is a classic example of two things being arguably delicious on their own but absolutely frightening when imagined together by anyone not abusing recreational drugs.

I am usually not one to yuck someone else’s yum. We have championed the divisive and notorious Croqueta Cake. I went on a five-hour, late-night delivery ride with Night Owl Cookies, whose founder, Andrew Gonzalez, was later named a Forbes 30 Under 30 honoree.

And the Miami Herald can say it has produced award-winning croqueta coverage after it won two prizes from the Society for Features Journalism. We are vociferous fans of croquetas and cookies. But croquetas in cookies is a shark jump too far.

The cookies will available Sept. 27-29 for $3.75, including free delivery from Postmates until they sell out.

I will not be lining up to taste Croquetastein.

This story was originally published September 25, 2019 at 7:08 PM.