A hot dog-stuffed pickle and other weird food we eat at the Youth Fair
Lost among the essential food groups is one that is grossly overlooked: Fair food.
Dunk it, fry it, put it on a stick. Voila, you have the makings of some seriously portable, body-destroying decadence. But, hey, you’re not at the Miami-Dade County Youth Fair for the broccoli. (Editor’s note: There’s actually broccoli. But it’s also deep fried.)
Each year, the Fair, which runs through April 7, challenges culinary daredevils with new dishes to match the its dizzying carnival rides. (Please note, the two are not to be mixed.)
That in mind, grab your favorite antacids and read about five, new strange treats at this year’s Fair.
Dilly Dilly Corn Dog
Please look away as they make this or you might end up in therapy. They start by coring out an 8-inch dill pickle, defile it with a hot dog on a stick, dunk the monstrosity in batter and deep fry until golden brown. People love this thing. Me? I think I need to go to confession.
$9, location 218
Brazilian cheesecake funnel cake
There’s no actual cheesecake in this item, and the only thing Brazilian about it are the crushed nuts on top. (No word on the grooming habits of whoever made it.) No matter. It’s decadent. This stand comes up with a new spin on classic funnel cakes every year for the Fair (remember guava and cheese funnel cake?). This one is drenched in dulce de leche, chocolate syrup, cream cheese icing and a mix of crushed nuts, such as pistachios, almonds, pecans and the aforementioned Brazil nuts.
$9, location 246
Chicken tikka masala crepe
Forget those sweet mall crepes. This stand (inside, uh, I guess you’d call it the mall at the Fair) takes the classic crepe and stuffs it with mozzarella cheese, fried eggplant, marinated mushrooms, a dollop of yogurt and a creamy, spicy chicken tikka masala, made from the recipe used at the Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables. Classy.
Don’t try to eat it with your hands, like a Neanderthal (read: like I did). Use a fork and knife like a civilized person.
$8.50, location 737
Twisted Spicy Corn
Corn on the cob already fits in perfectly at the Fair: It’s grilled, buttery and you can eat it on a stick. But why stop there? This version is slathered in spicy mayo and in a rainbow of three toppings: toasted parmesan cheese, crushed jalapeño-cheddar Cheetos and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. I hate myself for how much I liked this.
$8, location 222
First, choose from one of 14 different kinds of doughnuts, from maple-bacon to unicorn bling, that looks like it rolled into the laser from “Honey, I Blew Up the Kids.” (Am I dating myself?) Then they’ll fill it with a swirl of soft serve ice cream and drizzle it in hot fudge, strawberries or dulce de leche. Don’t order this if you don’t have friends. Check that — order this, walk around with it and you’ll make some friends.
$10, location 354