You can get a Burger King Whopper Donut in Miami. But it’s not what you think.

Burger King made a Donut Whopper. It's lame.
Burger King made a Donut Whopper. It's lame.

Jumping up and down over there, trying to get your attention for Friday’s National Doughnut Day (or National Donut Day, whatever), is Burger King, yelling, We have a doughnut, too!

Not just a doughnut, they said. A Whopper Donut.

If you’re like me or anyone who has ever been to the County Fair, you might be thinking Burger King jumped on the calories-and-social-contract-be-damned bandwagon and offered a Whopper on a split doughnut.

That could actually be delicious if you’re not concerned about your own life expectancy. I’ve had the county fair doughnut burger as well as a host of reason-be-damned fair food (like a Philly cheesesteak on a doughnut) in my food journalism career. Confession: They can actually be pretty tasty.

RELATED: The five weirdest food at the Miami-Dade County Youth Fair

I’ve even made myself a Guinea pig for a host of Burger King’s previous concoctions, from their hot dog to bacon ice cream. (I even had a regrettable encounter with the Taco Bell Waffle Taco.)

Alas, like most of these National Product We’re Trying To Sell holidays, the Whopper is vaporware.

This is what Burger King is calling a Whopper Donut: They took a cookie cutter and cut the middle out of a regular whopper. And they’re giving you the mini doughnut hole burger leftover as a “slider.”

I call that “lame.”

But credit to Burger King. They got us to look, we got a click and you get to be angry at the internet. Everybody wins.

If you absolutely must have a your Whopper in separate pieces, you’re in luck. Miami’s South Beach Burger King restaurant, at 1100 5th Street, is, apparently, only one of five in the country with a cookie cutter.