Food

Publix subs are Florida’s only claim to culinary fame, Thrillist says. We disagree.

Totally legit and not at all cheesy website Thrillist recently decreed Publix subs the best sandwiches in the country. How can we argue? We fought a Twitter war with Philly.com over Publix’s superiority to Wawa and also just ordered a chicken tender sub online. Extra pickle, please.

We live for Publix subs. We do not ever call them “Pub Subs,” as Thrillist suggests. But we do love them. Still, we must take issue with Thrillist because the writer is tripping. The story calls Florida a wasteland when it comes to cuisine: “Florida, a state so big that it requires a full day to drive from end to end, has very few culinary claims to fame.”

Wait, what?

Read more: A guide to Miami’s best restaurants

Thrillist does grudgingly admit that our beloved Cuban sandwich is awesome but then adds, “You’re not going to find a famed plate of pasta in Pensacola, and nobody visits Fort Lauderdale for the fried chicken.”

A famed plate of pasta? We can clear that bar without even breaking a sweat. We can’t speak for Pensacola, but Thrillist should check out Scarpetta at the Fontainebleau, which has redefined pasta as we know it. In fact, Thrillist, you don’t seem to have crossed the Miami-Dade line at all. We encourage you to do so and will not at all pelt you with rotten loquats when you do.

Here are just a few examples of the great Miami food beyond the Publix sub (which we love. Did we mention that?) We can’t speak for Tallahassee – as far as we’re concerned that’s another state anyway.

Stone crabs

stone crabs

These edible gems of the sea are the reason we put up with the hurricanes, the tourists and the traffic.

The mustard sauce that goes with those stone crabs

Stone Crab Mustard Sauce
Chuck Fadely Herald Staff

You can dip your crab meat into it or you can eat it with a spoon. Either way, you’re good.

Florida lobster

IMG_lobster_2_1_BAAIECHN_L291541712

None of that messy shell cracking or embarrassing bib wearing here. We just eat the tail, thus turning it into a convenient vehicle for butter.

Key lime pie

Mix-in-the-pan pie crusts make summer desserts a breeze
Real key lime pie should have a graham cracker crust. Whipped cream is optional. Jeff Wheeler TNS

Real desserts don’t need to be sweet to be heavenly.

Mangoes

Spice things up with this summery salsa
You can make mango salsa or mango daiquiris. Just pull one off the tree. In Miami, everybody has a tree. Linda Gassenheimer TNS

We don’t even have to cook some of our best food. We just pull it off the trees. And in Miami, everybody has a tree.

Grouper

Beach vacation on a plate: Delicious dishes await
There is literally no way to eat grouper that isn't perfection. Gretchen Mckay TNS

Get out of here with your cod and your salmon. Florida has grouper, and whether you fry it, sautee it or slap it on a salad, it’s delicious.

Croquetas

croquetarene

Fried meat sticks. Enough said.

Every kind of empanada known to mankind

empanadas
Whether they're Cuban or Argentine Venezuelan or Peruvian or Chilean, Miami's empanadas will change your life.

They are Cuban and Argentine and Venezuelan and Peruvian and Chilean and…well, you get the idea. Miami borrows from everywhere in Latin America and adds its own touch for pure doughy magic.

Cinnamon rolls at Knaus Berry Farms

rolls
Worth the drive. Worth the wait. DANIEL BOCK FOR THE MIAMI HERALD

To hell with Cinnabon. There’s a reason we wait in those two-hour lines.

Chicharrones

pork00 consume22 MDF AD
Chicharrones, fried pork rinds available at $5.49 per pound, are ready to eat at La Bodega Bestway Supermarket on Flagler Street on Monday, July 5, 2010. Allison Diaz Allison Diaz

I’ve seen grown men and women weep upon stuffing this fried pork sensation into their faces. Can your famed plate of pasta do that?

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