Rhinestone masks and $9 hand sanitizer: A COVID-19 store just opened at Aventura Mall
Welcome to the COVID-19 pop-up store. May we take your temperature?
Just kidding! You do not need to disclose your temperature to enter the new pop-up store in the Aventura Mall. You do need to be wearing a mask under new city requirements, although neither these rules nor security seem able or interested in deterring maskless scofflaws from wandering the mall.
COVID-19 Essentials, however, can help you feel safe again, often in a blinged-out way.
The store, which first came to our attention courtesy of WSVN-Channel 7, sells everything you need to survive the coronavirus pandemic. Sorry, JK again: It does not sell everything you need to survive this pandemic. It does not sell liquor or ice cream, two important factors in keeping you safe at home during this crucial period in human history.
The other bad news: COVID-19 Essentials does not sell common sense, which is a shame, as it is crucial in fighting the spread of the virus and in woefully short supply in Miami. If you don’t believe me, walk around the mall and count how many people are wearing masks below their noses. And those are just the mall employees.
In a county where operating a turn signal is akin to rocket science, a visit to COVID-19 Essentials can ease the mind, if not the credit card. You can buy face shields or infrared thermometers. There are masks for grownups and kids.
The store is located on the second floor near the Andy Warhol statue (yes, there is an Andy Warhol statue in the Aventura Mall). There’s also a kiosk in the Bloomingdale’s wing.
How long will this pop-up be open? We are sad to inform you it could be open for awhile. So in the meantime, here are the most essential items for sale. We just wish they sold masks with that whimsical virus logo.
Aromatic spray hand sanitizer
It will cost you $9 to take home a small bottle of this grapefruit-scented safety net, which smells so good you will forget how fast it’s drying out your skin.
Regular gel hand sanitizer
Each bottle, around two ounces, costs $5.99 (a two-ounce bottle is $1.59 at CVS). But there’s no CVS in sight, and you’re about to head into a department store and touch items that may or may not be drenched with The Rona. Better safe than sorry.
Non contact Door Opener-Stylus hand tools
You had no idea you needed one of these, but clearly you do. You will never have to open a door or push an elevator button or punch in your pin number with your hand again. Of course, we are super tacky and use an old plastic bag we found in the backseat because it’s free, but you do you.
Black Lives Matter masks
You can proclaim your allegiance with a simple $29 mask or one of these $45 blinged-out Black Lives Matter masks, because this isn’t exploitative at all.
Britto masks
Finally, an excellent use for a Britto work — to sop up coronavirus before you spray it all over other people.
This story was originally published June 24, 2020 at 2:44 PM.