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Spring break in Miami Beach: Hell on earth or just another day in the Inferno?

Beachgoers indulge in wholesome fun and games on the beach during spring break.
Beachgoers indulge in wholesome fun and games on the beach during spring break. Miami

Spring is in the air. And by “spring” we mean “spring break,” that heady season fragrant with alcohol poisoning, impromptu violence and random twerking.

Miami Beach residents are furious. City officials are holding emergency meetings. Police are at “Alpha Bravo” level - no, seriously, this is a thing. Eighty extra police officers from the department will be deployed this weekend, with 70 more officers from other agencies joining them, according to an email from Mayor Dan Gelber.

It is safe to say Mayor Gelber is not happy with this state of affairs. “This is not a place where anything goes,” he writes sternly in his email, “and if that is your reason for coming here, please go elsewhere.”

We have some bad news for the mayor. The spring breakers are going to continue to get drunk, crazy and on everyone’s nerves. You know, the things spring breakers tend to do.

But look, Ocean Drive isn’t always paradise anyway. We warned you about that. And don’t blame out-of-towners. Spring break is the perfect occasion for willing locals to act the fool, too.

So is Miami Beach truly worse this week? Check out these videos and be the judge.

Fight no. 1

A video shows a man hitting a woman and making her fall to the ground in South Beach.

Ouch. That hurt.

Dranks on the road

A driver heading to Miami Beach on the MacArthur Causeway pours alcohol into the cup of a passenger in a nearby car.

This probably happens during Art Basel only with Veuve Clicquot.

Fight no. 2

Partygoers brawl on South Beach during what residents have described as a particularly wild spring break.

Can’t we all just get along?

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