These are the seven deadly sins that everyone commits in Miami

We are shocked to learn that Florida is one of the most sinful places in America.

According to a WalletHub survey, which cannot possibly be exaggerated or wrong, we are the no. 2 most sinful state in the country. The only place worse than us? Nevada, home to Las Vegas.

At least what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. What happens in Florida is usually spread all over the Internet.

And though it has not been proven, we sense Miami has contributed to this high ranking, considering our high rate of crazy. Our sins are exposed in new and unique ways. Wrath by sledgehammer. Sloppiness on a plane. The fact that people visit Ocean Drive to eat at TGIF.

But what are our seven deadliest sins? We think we know.

Eating the croquetas out of the sampler box before you get to the meeting

Bro, seriously? You ate them ALL?

Not knowing your order at the Pollo Tropical drive through

We only have half an hour for lunch, and there are 40 cars in this line. You have got to speed it up.

Going to Starbucks when you can buy a colada on every corner

And there’s enough for everybody. Sharing is caring.

Being super vain and super cheap at the same time

Just pay full price for your Botox and don’t drive out to that guy’s converted garage in Hialeah.

Cutting into the line for the highway off ramp

I have been sitting here for 20 minutes, and you just wedged that overpriced Audi in front of my five-year-old Hyundai. I want you dead, even though I will do the same thing tomorrow.

Forgetting how to drive in the rain every summer

Pro tip: Turn off the hazard lights, turn on the wipers.

Abuse of the word “bro”

Also, “supposably” is not an actual word.

This story was originally published February 21, 2019 at 4:02 PM.