Everything you’ll see at Ultra — as reenacted by Barbies

So you want to go to Ultra Music Festival. But not really. What you actually want to do is make fun of the people who go from the safety of your living room.

This is good, because getting a ticket to Ultra is impossible. Also, you’re too old, and you have no idea what EDM stands for, and why do they wear tutus, and what IS that music the young people are listening to these days, anyway? Back in your day blah blah blah.

But maybe you’re still curious about what happens there.

So with help from Barbie and friends, we’re going to show you what you’re missing. Here’s what you would see at Ultra Music Festival if you got up off your couch and went.

Group selfies. Lots of group selfies.

You think our music sucks, but we can dance for 24 hours straight, and our waists are TINY.

Solo selfies. Lots of solo selfies.

#ultra #edmlife #edmlifestyle #edmfamily #marshmello #martingarrix #tiesto #lit

DJs

Give it up for DJ Care Bear.

More DJs

DJ Robot drops the beat.

People blocking your view

Don’t worry, these guys will eventually have to use the PortaPotties.

Crowdsurfing (of a sort)

Usually it’s the DJs who do it. But you may spot a festivalgoer in transit.

Underage kids trying to sneak in

Nice try, but it’s back to Forever 21 for you.

Drugs

We aren’t sure what this is, but we’re going to take it.

People who behave inappropriately

On occasion an Ultragoer is moved to make out with a tree. Do not be alarmed. Also, drugs are bad.

Friends who Snapchat bad behavior

Which is what you want if you’re making out with a tree.

Friends who will rescue you if you’re really wasted

Sure, everybody saw that Snapchat, but we leave no BFF behind.

The ultimate crash

By Day 3, everybody just needs to lie down. Yeah, we like The Chainsmokers, but maybe next year we just go for one day?

Photos by @celebritiesinmiamibeach

This story was originally published March 21, 2018 at 4:03 AM.