LOL

Nine ways to silence the haters next time they trash Miami

Everybody thinks their city is the best. Even Cleveland and Tallahassee probably think they’re pretty great. (Miami editor’s note: They are not.)

But Miami really is the best. Even when it isn’t. And frequently it isn’t. Trust us on that.

Still, there are things that make Miami special, things that keep us here despite all the reasons we have to hate it.

The weather

Just another day in paradise.
Just another day in paradise.

Duh.

The beaches

Nothing more to say.
Nothing more to say.

See above.

No state taxes

No state tax? No problem.
No state tax? No problem.

No state tax? No problem.

Our natural disasters are predictable

Related contentNone of this nonsense of sirens going off mere moments before a tsunami or a tornado bears down on us. No earth opening up to swallow our highways. Just weeks of stress and waiting until the last minute to buy supplies.

Read more: Did Miami learn anything from hurricane season?

Our people watching is the best

Scenes from Halloween festivities on Lincoln Road on Miami Beach. Photo by Tomas Loewy. (Oct. 31, 2015)
Scenes from Halloween festivities on Lincoln Road on Miami Beach. Photo by Tomas Loewy. (Oct. 31, 2015) Miami Herald File

It’s particularly good on Halloween. But this guy is out walking around most days, we’d bet.

The food

From seafood to croquetas to Key lime pie, we’ve got it all.

The Miami Heat

MATIAS J. OCNER mocner@miamiherald.com

We got our DWade back for his final season and we don’t care what happens. We remain #305TilWeDie.

We actually do have culture, but you can ignore it if you want

You can see opera, ballet, theater or modern dance at our lovely Adrienne Arsht Center in downtown Miami. You can see world class art at the Perez Art Museum or see the best authors on the planet at the Miami Book Fair in November. Or you can ignore it all and stay home, drink beer and watch sports on TV, and nobody will judge you.

Someday we’re all going to have waterfront property

A little more climate change, a few more King Tides and boom! Your house in Kendall is waterfront property.

This story was originally published October 19, 2018 at 12:10 AM.

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