If Miami had Hogwarts, which house would you be in?
Miami doesn’t have its own Hogwarts, but if we did we know exactly what the houses would be. So now, as we celebrate the 20th anniversary of the “Harry Potter” books – thank you, J.K. Rowling – take your seat and see where the Sorting Guayabera sends you.
20 years ago today a world that I had lived in alone was suddenly open to others. It's been wonderful. Thank you.#HarryPotter20
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) June 26, 2017
1. House of Estefan
The rhythm is gonna get you if House of Estefan is casting the spell.
Founded by the great and powerful wizards Gloria and Emilio Estefan, this house attracts students who are pragmatic and artistic and can cast spells in multiple languages.
Graduates: Ricky Martin, Shakira, Paulina Rubio (though she dropped out in her second year), Jon Secada.
2. House of Luke
House of Luke students are having none of your nonsense.
Students from the house of Luke are imbued with a determined sense of righteousness, speaking truth to power and doggedly pursuing their goals, much like founder Luther Campbell, a wizard who famously got a ruling to overturn the Ministry of Magic’s sentence against his use of spells deemed too profane for the Wizarding World.
Graduates: Trick Daddy, Trina, Billy Corben, Alfred Spellman, Lesley Abravanel.
3. House of Shula
We da best! – The slogan of House of Shula
These wizards are the ones who make Miami proud, get the best grades and always win at Quidditch. House of Shula grads are the basis by which all other houses are measured.
Graduates: Pat Riley, Dan Marino, Alonzo Mourning, Mitchell Kaplan, Michael Schwartz, Ron Magill, Dwyane Wade, LeBron James (transfer student who left in Sixth Year), DJ Khaled.
4. House of Loria
Are you an evil wizard determined to end the world or secretly trying to save us all? We need to know!
This house has earned a reputation for attracting wizards with dubious motivations, like founding wizard Jeffrey Loria. Is it money, fame or power that they seek? Are their sinister acts actually secretly working for the good of all Miami? We may have to wait until their final breath to find out.
Graduates: Marco Rubio, Vanilla Ice, A-Rod, Dr. Miami, anyone who appeared on any episode of “Real Housewives of Miami,” all “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” contestants.
This story was originally published June 25, 2017 at 10:06 PM.